I have been in the San Jose area attending corporate functions this week that is business formal by day and business social by night. As most of you know I do the updates to my site at night, so the late evenings eating Japanese food may have been fun but they have made writing particularly difficult. I have kept the site updated and even had a chance to scan the current topics on my favorite recovery blogs, but have not and probably will not be posting elsewhere much until my travel schedule lightens. That is not the only reason my comments have tapered off though.
I have noticed my increasing reticence to comment both in the blogosphere and in the one-on-one communications with those dealing personally or with a loved one’s addiction. When I do leave a post or speak with another about recovery it is always honest and sincere, I take the subject matter both seriously and personally. So when I cannot speak from the heart on the subject, it is just easier not to say anything.
Lately I have run across a few situations where, with a very high probability, I already know how the situation will play out. It’s not that I have a sixth sense for addictions or have an advanced degree in therapy, just the many years of direct and indirect experience make it difficult not quickly assume the almost predictable outcomes. I wish I was wrong more often than not, but unfortunately I would say when it comes to alcohol and drug addictions I am right a very high percentage of the time. This doesn’t really make me anything more than experienced and perceptive, they don’t call alcoholism and drug addiction chronic diseases because they just eventually fade away.
A good analogy would be sitting in a crowded room when a song like The Macarena or YMCA is played. You can bet that even if the crowd has gathered for a funeral wake that someone will overtly or discretely be performing the almost mandatory gestures. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know this, just watch the crowd.
I guess what I am saying is that sometimes it’s very hard not to get frustrated with the same old song and dance. But then again, that’s why it is necessary to keep fighting. Addictions are relentless; if you are not in an active healthy recovery then you are just biding time for a relapse. If you are a codependent and things seem always “just about” to get better, then be prepared to teeter on the edge forever. Addictions just don’t go away; they are only pushed aside by a very deliberate program of recovery.
Just remember, if you are not dancing to a totally new tune you cannot expect nothing but the same silly dance.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
that to spot an addict all I need to do is break out a Village People CD? just kidding.
If you want to spot a codie ask the room if they want to play Mother May I and we will all jump up!
to know with almost certainty the pain someone is in store for when you see that familiar scene playing out.