When asked by those new to recovery what is the secret to maintaining my sobriety I can say without hesitation that is because I keep recovery as the number one priority in my life. With this in mind though, what about my wife, family, and friends… do I really walk in the house, hug my wife, and ask her how the second most important thing in my life is doing? It sounds funny, but many in early recovery quite literally do just that.
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Selfishness is a hallmark of addiction, and suggesting to an alcoholic/addict that they have to take care of themselves first is one of the few tasks they will take to like a duck to water. Guarding against this innate selfishness of addictive thinking is critical in recovery, and the key to doing so is by understanding the nature of the disease and its treatment.
Whether it is to alcohol, drugs, or sex, addiction is a collective disease. By this I mean that an addict adversely affects all those around them, especially loved ones and family. As a recovering alcoholic that has helped another family member struggle with their own addiction, I have experience on both sides of the fence and know for a fact that in many cases it is actually the family that suffers most.
So the answer to keeping recovery priority number one is understanding that it too is a collective term. My recovery is not “mine” at all, it is also my wife’s, my parent’s, and the rest of my family and friends… and it is my job to make sure that their recovery is also stays a priority. It all comes to together quite nicely in fact, because since the disease affected everyone- one can’t really be free of it until everyone is in recovery.
It’s awful thin ice, especially in early recovery, but it really is a lot safer when you go out on it together.
