Meet The Discovering Alcoholic
I used to post an updated introduction every so often for new readers, but with the new format a “Meet TDA” tab is available so now all you have to do is click on the tab above. You have probably already guessed by the site name that yes I am a recovering alcoholic, clean and sober without relapse since the fall of 94’ and I keep feeling better every day. I am proud of my recovery and often share this fact not as a boast, but in an attempt to lessen the stigma and encourage others to share in this confidence or feel more inclined to seek help. I started the site back in March of 2007 and it has been updated daily with very few exceptions since- it has become a big part of my recovery. These days though I have been concentrating on another line of advoccay, so most of the writing is done by my good friend “Screedler” also a recovering alcoholic with a unique style and new direction for TDA.
I consider most substance addictions as birds of a feather, not making great distinction between drug addicts and alcoholics. It is my belief that any step toward recovery is a smart step and I support most programs including AA, NA, MA, religious groups, self-styled, and rehabs. I am a member of a substance abuse task force, hold a recovery class every week at a local methadone clinic, always have at least one or two alcoholics/addicts to which I act as a sponsor, and of course there is TDA. I have found through my efforts of attempting to help others that my own spirituality, confidence, and appreciation of life greatly increases.
Addicts and alcoholics have the same foibles and frustrations as everyone else, but the negative repercussions that result from these are usually exponentially greater for those whose coping skills have been limited to drinking and drugging. The key is to know oneself better, understand what pulls the trigger, and to adapt one’s lifestyle and actions into a preventative maintenance program. And it’s not only about staying sober; when these lessons are applied in other aspects of life (business, relationships, parenting) combined with the confidence gained in recovery , one cannot but help to feel empowered.
In recovery, I have discovered that the very act of reining in my disease has enabled me to become a much better person ergo, The Discovering Alcoholic. I am many things; husband, veteran, advocate and blogger but most first and foremost an alcoholic since this condition has affected all aspects of my life.
So hello my name is Gavin, and I am The Discovering Alcoholic.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi sound like you have been sober a while ,how come your still ”recovering” and not recovered yet?
The Big Book promises tyou will recover.
it tells us ”we have recovered and been given the power to help others”
Trev.
Australia.
Good morning Trev,
Sorry for the late response, I’ve been traveling abroad and my internet access has been somewhat spotty. Reading from your comment history it seems you have chosen to come more to be a nuisance rather than honestly discuss recovery issues, so even though it seems to me you are wasting my time I will answer anyway with a semi-rhetorical question of my own that seems rather fitting for this discussion.
I consider my recovery a continuous process of improvement, there is no end goal nor should there be when it comes the the quality of one’s life- why stop trying to be better, content, happy? You seem to have been “living” for a while yet you spend your evenings trolling recovery blogs leaving strings of inane comments. Does this behavior constitute a plateau or perhaps even a lifestyle crisis, maybe you should quit pondering the semantics of “recovering” and instead concentrate on how you define “living”?
(Why come to a recovery blog to be snarky, you got a problem? Maybe a drinking problem?)
Hi there Gavin!
I agree that arguing about semantics can make recovery ridiculous at times. I mean, who really cares as long as we are making progress and living clean?
My old sponsor would argue that it matters to some people, because the language that we use out loud can infect our thinking patterns, which may affect our actions. Seems like a stretch to me though.
Anyway, I have a proposition for you. Shoot me an email and I can show you what it is in more detail. I love your blog and I think you are one of the “realest” recovery bloggers out there. Kudos to you for your excellent work on this site.
Please keep blogging!
My humble opinion is that all thought, talk, and semantics are very important tools for fighting substance abuse and/or addiction.
For me personally, it helps to keep me humble. It’s essential for me not to consider myself “recovered” or “healed” because that might trigger me to think, “Ok, I’m better now, -no more problem so it’s ok for me to drink.” I think that’s why people in AA introduce themselves as alcoholics. “Hello, my name is Keith and I’m an alcoholic.”
Yeah, basically the same thing that Gavin said in his reply to Trev about recovery being “a continuous process of improvement”, but hopefully imparting the philosophy, wisdom, and motivation that helps us, or at least me, make it happen…
Keep up the great work Gavin!
-Keith
Reality
Gavin, great blog.
Alcoholism affects everyone – one way or another, across all ‘lines’ we draw to distinguish each other.
Fortunately more and more people are getting a clue on the disease of addiction and how to achieve sobriety, how to help one another and how to reduce the harm we inflict on one another.
Guest House is an entirely lay run charity that’s been helping clergy and religious return to sobriety for 54 years – and from the beginning we’ve provided care of at least 90 days, regardless of the ability of the person to pay for it. The long term care and follow up, the personalized care etc. has given our clients lifetime sobriety rates of 75%.
There is no ‘full recovery’ or ‘cure’. But sobriety can be achieved and lived for the remainder of your life. So there’s always hope.
Discovered your site today and immediately made three connections: Calvin & Hobbes, recovery, breast cancer. As a breast cancer survivor of seven years, I wanted to let your wife know cancer CAN be whipped. I found two keys to recovery (both addiction and cancer): faith and humor.
Faith will allow you the freedom to say ‘it does not matter what happens to this body, cancer cannot touch the real me ..my spirit.’ Once you’ve released that stress, the rest is easy.
Humor? Well, humor heals. Learn to joke about the symptoms. You may be surprised to learn you can lose all the hair on your head and still have to shave your legs (what’s up with that?). You may even gain weight (I gained 60 pounds …possibly the only person on the planet to do so during chemo, but I’m weird like that).
If you go into treatment thinking you’re beat …you will be. By the way …cancer has taken every woman in my family for generations. I intended to be the first to survive, to show my daughter and granddaughters it can be done. Seven and a half years later, I’m still thumbing my nose at cancer.
Oh … just a recommendation: music by Liquid Mind. He is a Navy officer/musician that writes music specifically designed to heal.
Bobby Jean- it’s always great to hear stories of recovery on both fronts, more power to you! You’re right about the Liquid Mind, much needed right now.
Regards-
Gavin aka TDA
“For we are not saints but are willing to grow along spiritual lines” therefore we will be recovering till death do us part
Hi, my name is Sol and I’m a recovering alcoholic since September 1984.
Hi, I am working on behalf of Drinkaware.co.uk, a charity which promotes responsible drinking and aims to reduce alcohol misuse and minimise alcohol-related harm. I have just come across your site and was wondering if we could possibly work together to raise awareness. If you could contact me on the email provided it would be greatly appreciated.
Hey Hanna – I’ll contact you this weekend by email – looked at your site…good stuff.
Hi Gavin / Screedler
I discovered your blog some time ago but haven’t had the nerve to post a comment til now. Something to do with not feeling my opinion counts for anything, but the subject of ‘recovered’ against ‘recovering’ strikes home with me, as has been stated already, I choose to refer to myself as a recovering drunk, this reminds me daily that a. without a recovery program I am a drunk, and b. that recovery is a continuous lifestyle choice.
If I let myself into the thinking that I am ‘recovered’, then I’m fixed, and surely being fixed means I can drink again, even though I know my life is better now that I don’t. To me the fact that I think like this, means there is still work to be done, hence for me it is definitely ‘recovering’.
Keeps up the good work and God bless.
Keith aka recoveringdrunk
Hello, Gavin! I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now. I just did a feature on the “Top 10 Recovery Blogs of 2011″ and Discovering made the list, here:
http://www.drugabusesolution.com/2011/12/top-ten-recovery-blogs-of-2011
Let me know if you’d like anything changed or added to the blog description. Hopefully it’ll send more people your way to your wonderful blog.
Gavin,
Keep up the good work. In my limited experience (11-07-09), I have put together MY program. I believe in what you’re doing here. We should always offer different viewpoints on recovery, and not let the gurus get to us, which is probably what Trev ran into. I’ve run into many gurus, that act like only they can get someone sober. They will send a brilliant mind back out quicker than a hooker swinging a hotel key. We have to truly embrace the concept behind the first three steps, being honest with ourselves. Having them, and networking through the rooms of recovery, we’ll find that “spiritual guide” to take us through the landmines of our disease.
I can understand some of the people like Trev, who had a bad experience, lashing out at the rest of us. What they fail to understand is that there is not one person who fully represents the whole. It’s not a cookie cutter program. One has to make the program theirs. As an old-timer told me early in my sobriety, “don’t worry about getting the program, the program will get you”. I was very frustrated that I was not meeting the expectations and rhetoric of the gurus. He told me to run the other way from them. They are out to feed their ego, and nothing else. Embrace your own sobriety. Believe in self. Believe that you deserve to have a happy life. That we can put to rest the guilt of our transgressions, and the resentments of those that transgressed against us. We are allowed a confidence of being, not born from arrogance like we were before, but born from knowing that we come from a clean house. We’ve checked our inventory before all decisions.
Anyway, happy life to you, and all who read this site! Nobody is completely wrong when it comes to helping another alcoholic, except for those that tell you that “one drink won’t hurt”.