Letters from Hell – Part 9

by Screedler on June 18, 2010

The Letters From Hell series written by guest poster Screedler were the most visited and read posts of the old Drupal powered TDA. Unbeknowst to me, the links to this series were broken in my switch to a WordPress platform so to make up for it I will post the whole series again one new one per day.



Welcome to Letters from Hell Part 9. This letter seems pretty matter of fact to me. This was probably the easiest week I had in the joint. The gang had left and my thefts were down. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

June 13, 2006

Dear Paul and Nan,

I hope this letter finds you doing well. I am doing pretty good. I had an enjoyable visit with Dad and Amy on Saturday. I really enjoyed seeing Amy.

I haven’t had anything stolen recently – it’s been almost a week since the last attack. I’ve learned how to hide and watch my stuff. I also only order things from the store that are easily hid. Flat things like beef sticks and peanut butter crackers that I can hide in my socks and underwear. Another reason for the reduction in crime has been the breakup of the gang. I can’t remember if I told you or dad before in one of my letters that they moved most of the gang out of Pod 9.

My main complaints now are constant hunger, lack of hygiene, and boredom. I have been asking the guards for finger nail clippers for over a week now and they always say someone else will bring them – but no one does. I am also having a problem with my skin itching, flaking, and weird bumps. The water we have is highly chlorinated and has who knows what else in it. I really miss real world water, food, and toiletries.

Click “Read more” to continue…

I found out I can’t be considered for the work block until I am sentenced. There may be ways around that. I need to get to know the guards better and see if one of them will do me a favor. They definitely have their favorites in here, as well as people they don’t like.

I finally wrote Mom a letter. It was pretty vanilla and I just let her know I was doing ok. I am glad she doesn’t live close by, so she doesn’t feel obligated to come see me. I hope she doesn’t think or worry about me much. She’s had enough worry in her life.

It’s now been 40 days without a drink or a smoke. I am thinking clearer than I have in probably ten years. At this moment, this hour, this day, I feel like I can make it without a drink. I do not think of it as a desire, but as something I am scared of. It’s hard to admit how alcohol has ruled my life. I know I started to drink and continued to drink because it allowed me to forget that I was a little, pimply, insecure human being. It also does not help that I have an innate compulsion to do the opposite of what people want me to do. I think in an odd way this jail experience will help me with my insecurities and vanity – but may also bolster my anti-authoritarian nature.

My friend Burgette (Ozzy) finally got out of here (22 months). I am happy for him, but fear he will not be free long. All he could talk about and make plans for while he was here was how to get “high”. His plans included hooking up with several people he met while he was in here. I am sure together, one of them will mess up and they will all find themselves right back here.

My current “best friend” is a “kid” named T-bone. He is 25 years old and is here for assaulting a police officer. He has been here about a week longer than I have. He seems intelligent and comes from a decent family (dysfunctional, but decent). His dad is a high school principle of a religious school in Helena. He was sentenced a year here after he pulled a court bailiff off his mom in court. She apparently got verbally abusive with a judge over some traffic tickets he got when he was 19. T-bone believes there is a huge conspiracy against him and his family. He has involved the FBI, ACLU, and over 100K in attorneys trying to clear his name. His mom is also here at ****** County for a year. It is a wild story of cover ups and politics that might make a good “Lifetime” movie of the week if it had involved a murder.

Other new additions to Pod 9 include “Digger” (named after the dermophrodite that gives him horrible toenails), “B.U.D.” (Burnt Up Dude), and not one but two “Red’s (both obviously red headed). Digger is in here for unpaid traffic tickets but claims to have killed someone recently. Words of wisdom from Digger include, “Jobs are for you people; I get a check”, said with pride.

I know I told you about using my TV while I am in exile. You should also hook up my surround sound system. Another thing I keep forgetting to tell you about is my Columbia House CD Club membership. Actually, I think it is BMG. One of them. You need to cancel it. I am sure you have already gotten one (a CD) in the mail that I did not respond to.

Well, I am going to go back to my rack now and read. The TV has been on since this morning and it has been on a “Walker, Texas Ranger” marathon on the USA Channel (6 in a row so far). I am reading a book called “Bestial”. It is a true story about a serial killer in the 1920’s named the Gorilla Man. His real name was Earl Leonard Nelson. Check it out on the internet if you are interested. Talk to you soon.



That week was like a vacation compared to how it had been with the gang and the constant threat of violence and theft. But as you shall see things quickly get bad again. Check back next week for Part 10.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 cc June 21, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Wow, I zipped through all 9 installations right now, and I can’t wait for the next one. I am so curious about the story leading up to your jail time, as well as who these people are that you’re writing to (except for the obvious “Dad”). You definitely should write a memoir.


2 The Discovering Alcoholic June 21, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Next one will be up tomorrow- thanks for reading!


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