Letters from Hell – Part 10

by Screedler on June 22, 2010

The Letters From Hell series written by guest poster Screedler were the most visited and read posts of the old Drupal powered TDA. Unbeknowst to me, the links to this series were broken in my switch to a WordPress platform so to make up for it I will post the whole series again one new one per day.



Welcome to Letters from Hell. Part 10 continues in the same matter of fact manner as the last letter. No drama, just the day to day jail stuff like staph infection and bad TV. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.
June 16, 2006

Dear Dad, Sarah, Amy, James and Audrey,

I hope this letter finds everyone doing well. By the time you get this letter you will have been to the beach and back. You can’t imagine how envious I am of your trip. The sunshine, the water, the food, the scenery…the girls in bikinis. Unfortunately, I think a trip to the beach is out of the question for me this summer. Maybe next year.

I am doing well; this has been the least stressful week I have had since my incarceration. My only complaints this week have been hunger and hygiene. We have had a big outbreak of staph infection. They had to move all the women prisoners out of their lock up block and move all the worst infected male prisoners into that block for quarantine. So we now have our own little “leper colony” right here in cell block A. The other block (B) also has a quarantine pod making a total of about 80 inmates with staph infection. The only methods of prevention are showers and frequent hand washing.

They (the guards) harass us about staying clean, yet they want give us something as simple as bleach to clean our showers and bunks. No doubt, there are some very nasty individuals here – but you can’t force them to take care of themselves.

Click “Read more” to continue…

It has now been 42 days in the “pokey”. That means 42 days without a drink or a smoke or a drug. Not even an aspirin. That’s a record. As I told Dad on the phone, I think this experience will be much more effective in deterring me from using alcohol than rehab was. I am pretty hard headed and hardwired to think a certain way. This “scared straight” approach may be more conducive to recovery than the touchy feely quasi-religious methods of rehab. Maybe this correctional facility will actually “correct” something in me. If not, you can rest assured that it fulfills its duty as a “punishment” facility.

After 3 weeks, we finally got some new books in from the library. I actually got one that I really requested, Clive Barkers “Imagica”. Mom gave me it to read about 12 years ago. I hope it’s as good as I remember it to be. I must have made a good choice as many people have already asked to borrow it from me.

It is good that the book is not edible, as I am sure that it would simply disappear from my possession. It may happen yet.

Books and sleep are the main ways I spend my time. I do try to walk daily, but strenuous exercise is just unhygienic here in my opinion. If I had gloves, it would be okay, but I am not putting my bare hands on anything but myself, my food, and my books. I even wash (the covers) of my books.

As far as TV goes, I will never watch “Walker, Texas Ranger”, “Law & Order” or “WW RAW” again in my life. I never liked pro basketball before, I absolutely hate it now. Since I have been in jail, there have been about 40 games in 42 nights. Also under civilian suspension will be anything on the USA channel – which should be called the Steven Seagal Bad Movie Channel.


Jail definitely has had a longer lasting effect on my sobriety than rehab so far. Albeit, I was only in rehab for 8 days (that’s all my insurance covered). Who knows jail may have “cured” me of my drinking forever. I hope so.

In closing, I will admit I still have to have my Chuck Norris fix from time to time. But it is much lower than it was.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dan June 23, 2010 at 8:28 pm

I’m enjoying this series, I think knowing my freedom would’ve only cost $100 might’ve driven me crazy though. Screedler you should assemble these, flesh them out a bit and publish it to be handed out in rehab centers or AA.


2 Screedler June 23, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Thanks for reading Dan. Believe it or not I am still sober though there have been rough patches.
I have thought about fleshing the letters out into a book form – someday maybe you will see me on Ofrah (James Frey reference) the only difference is I didnt have any root canals ….oh and mine is/was “fo real”. I think I will call my book – “You Want That Cornbread”. Thanks again for reading.


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