I was drinking. Obviously as an alcoholic I was drinking copious amounts of adult beverages, but it was more than that. Much like the figure made of wine corks above, I WAS drinking. Drinking defined me. My personality, appearance, likes, dislikes, and even relationships (fair warning super-nurturers) were nothing more than the adaption of favorable or negative traits that increased my ability to consume alcohol.
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I was a sports fan, rogue, and lover- always around others and always drinking. I was a recluse, wanderer, and the dark depressive moper always drunk and lonely. I was whatever I needed to be in order to drink… except myself.
It was many years later in recovery before I finally felt as if there was a real me, and even longer to be confident and assured that this was what I wanted to be.