I’m Too Much

by The Discovering Alcoholic on June 12, 2008

Joey Kovar of MTV’s Real World is an alcoholic and recovering addict. He’s the guy with the exploding hairdo on the right. Actually, he has more than just a volcano inspired coiffure in common with the character I have placed next to him but let’s get a little background first.

Joey relapsed (on camera) halfway through the season of the reality series and subsequently left the show for treatment. Upon his return, he became very disenchanted with his fellow cast members because they did not alter their partying ways in deference to his condition.

“I’m not gonna lie: I felt a little betrayed,” Kovar told the Sun-Times. “Like, ‘Dude, do these people even give a crap about me?’ From that point on is when I said, ‘I don’t think I should be here, because I’m not safe here.’ “ ~ Sun Times

I’m glad he left. He’s right; I can’t see that environment being very safe for anyone new to sobriety. I’ve maybe caught a cumulative five minutes of MTV programming since they stopped broadcasting the educational series Beavis and Butt-Head, so I have never even heard of the guy before today. But as soon as I saw the video linked here and the corresponding story, I felt as if I known the guy for years.

Click “Read more” to continue

Like most young men his age, Joey obviously thinks a lot of himself. See the video below, as Mr. Heat Miser would say, “I’m too much!” He feels he’s destined for greatness, and worries that he will not be able to cope with life if he doesn’t achieve it. This duality creates fear and insecurity. As an alcoholic and addict, we deal with this fear by drinking and drugging which just exacerbates the problem. Cockiness becomes megalomania, and productivity turns into dysfunctionality. It was the same for me. Before I hit rock bottom I was delusional king reigning over a homeless empire, an alcoholic that couldn’t keep my hand steady but I would tell you that I could rule with an iron fist. Bah.

It’s tough being a young man with a substance abuse problem. Yeah I know, it’s tough for anyone- but something about this young guy reminds me of myself at that age. It’s definitely not the muscles or the whacked hair, unfortunately I think it’s the fear lying barely skin deep on this guy. Hopefully he will find the tools in recovery to face these fears, and become stronger in the process.

If anyone follows this show, or knows a little more about Joey Kovar- please shoot me a line and let me know if you think I’ve made a decent appraisal.

Now for the song and dance:

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: