It was a few years into early recovery when my life seemed to have hit a plateau. I had a steady job, a place of my own, and a satisfying relationship… a far cry from trembling, alky wreck of yore, but still somehow I felt disappointed. This is what I had gotten sober for? Even though I had no major problems I kept getting a shorter and shorter fuse- everything irritated me.
In retrospect it’s easy to see though at the time I was at a loss, I had only the ability to identify the negative things in my life and didn’t know what made me happy. To be truthful it went deeper than that, I’m not even sure if I knew what happiness felt like. I had spent so many years equating a buzz with happiness and drunk as fulfillment that I just didn’t have the life experience necessary to properly define what made me happy, while sober. That’s sad. In a way, I think even many non-problem drinkers have this problem. They will belly up to the bar at happy hour after a hard day’s work not because it makes them happy, but it helps them forget that they’re not.
Don’t settle for a happy hour- skip the bar, try something new, and work on making a happy life!