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Sober Toolbox Additions

March 3, 2013

Sober Toolbox Additions are where we revisit posts from the past that were more focused on the nuts and bolts of recovery or something that was meaningful and re-post them in our new Sober Toolbox tab. These posts are from the spring of 2008. This months toolbox is Tool Kit #1.  Currently residing at the Smithsonian [...]

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Sober Toolbox Additions

September 13, 2012

Sober Toolbox Additions are where we revisit posts from the past that were more focused on the nuts and bolts of recovery and re-post them in our new Sober Toolbox tab.  These posts are from the winter of 2008.  This month’s toolbox pic belongs to Adam Savage of the Myth Busters.  I imagine like ours, it’s filled [...]

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Toolbox Addition – Tapping Your Way Through A Craving (or Relapse)

July 21, 2012

I have been doing some reading up on another “out there” recovery tool. I’ved tried it, although not “in the trenches” of an active relapse. So far experimenting on self stress and fatigue, I’ve had some positive results.

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Sober Toolbox Additions

July 9, 2012

It’s that time of the month again.  This batch of greatest hits includes several reviews on books about sobriety.  Sober Toolbox Additions are where we revisit posts from the past that were more focused on the nuts and bolts of recovery and re-post them in our new Sober Toolbox tab.  This month’s pictured toolbox is [...]

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Sober Tools #1 – Tools Sober

January 3, 2012

To start the new year off we are introducing a new feature to the site, one that begins today and will morph throughout the year into a helpful collection of  tips on how to get and stay sober.  We have always posted things that we are adding to our personal toolboxes of recovery, but have not done a good job of [...]

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The Alcoholic Playbook: Control Play

July 16, 2008

image from the TimesOnlineThe names, places, and circumstances may vary, but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it The Alcoholic Playbook.

Looking more like the star of a tribute film to John Candy than a professional athlete, John Daly, an alcoholic with a bipolar golf game, will run the route for us today demonstrating the “Control Play”. With at least three trips to the Betty Ford Clinic for alcoholism, four ruined marriages, and a gambling habit that has cost him upwards of $50 million- obviously control is not one of John’s better talents. However he does not let this fact get in the way after an alleged drinking incident in the Hooters hospitality tent led to a golf analyst commenting, “The most important thing in his life is getting drunk.”

“That hurt. There were some rumours flying, probably because of my past. My lifestyle has been great. I’m eating too much, but I’m hardly drinking at all – and I never go out. I guess that’s just the way my life is going to be for a long time because of my past.” ~ TimesOnline

”But I’m hardly drinking at all”… uhhh yeah, right John, you’ve got the drinking under control. You’re an alcoholic yet somehow you rationalize eating too much and the comments of a talking head as being more harmful than the fact the YOU ARE STILL DRINKING! A good sand wedge will not extract you from this relapse trap.

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A Standard for Alcoholics

July 7, 2008

A Standard for AlcoholicsIf you are setting the bar for alcoholics, make sure it is very low unless you are speaking of taverns and watering holes. That is what I first thought of when I saw this article in the Anchorage Daily News. I guess a standard for alcoholics would include target goals for deceit, disappointment, as well as blood alcohol content benchmarks, but that is not the topic of the article. No, the topic is about alcoholics, both in recovery and relapsing, in the workplace.

I touched on this subject last week in the front page story Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell discussing the merits of speaking honestly about substance/alcohol use, drug testing, and being in recovery in one’s career. The gist of the story is that one cannot be fired for being an alcoholic, but should instead be judged by the same standards as all employees. An employee that comes in habitually late, under performs, or comes in smelling like a brewery should be terminated… regardless if they are an alcoholic or not. No need for a separate standard. Nothing new here, but what was interesting were some of the details in the article and accompanying comments.

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I Have a Problem with Alcohol and Pot

July 4, 2008

I Have a Problem with Alcohol and PotI decided not to shortchange the answer by writing just a quick reply and promised a full post after being asked this question.

Hi I just wanted to get your thoughts on POT because I have a problem with Alcohol but not with pot. Considering that it could be a legal alternative to Alcohol in the near future I wonder if you would ever consider recreational pot use acceptable for people who don’t have an addiction.
Thanks,
Christopher

My thoughts are very simple when it comes to any type of alcohol or drug use for those of us in recovery regardless of “WHAT” we were addicted to in the past. Don’t do it, any of it. Recovery is about learning to deal with life without mood and reality altering substances regardless of their legality or how they are ingested. Just the very fact that an alcoholic is trying to rationalize smoking a joint, or a junky is considering taking to the bottle means that their disease is influencing both thinking and decision making. Trying to figure out new or safer ways to escape reality and stress is not an exactly healthy exercise for someone like me.

Also, I have a problem with alcohol and pot even for those that are lucky enough not to suffer from addictions.

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

July 3, 2008

It has been my experience that people who worry about passing a drug screen test for employment usually have good reason. A rule of thumb is that those who ask the most questions about timelines and false positives, will be those that should not have wasted the money and everyone’s time on the testing kit in the first place.

Do yourself a favor, if you are a recreational drug user and need to be able to pass an initial or random drug test- just quit or find a job that doesn’t require a healthy lifestyle. If your drug use is that important to you or the ability to stop doesn’t seem to manifest, well then a drug test is the least of your worries. It’s ironic that some people stress weekly about a habit they claim helps them unwind and eliminates stress. I ran across an article discussing the merits of telling the truth about drug use to potential employers this evening that got me to thinking about the subject and another common question.

Do you need to “come clean” with a potential employer that you are a recovering alcoholic or addict?

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The Alcoholic Playbook: Something Really Scary!

June 20, 2008

scene from Twilight ZoneThe names, places, and circumstances may vary,
but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it the alcoholic playbook.

I usually use as an example the already publicized spectacle of celebrity drunken antics, that’s your cue Amy Winehouse, when reviewing a page out of the alcoholic playbook. This time however I have asked permission from one of my favorite bloggers, The Junky’s Wife, if I could use her husband as my playmaker.

The full name of this play is “You want to see something really scary?” and it’s a type that becomes more extreme each time it’s used. It has to be progressive for this to work on someone who has a high tolerance for addict inspired drama… especially someone like TJW, who has put up with years of this type of behavior. So let’s take a look at what stage of the game we’re in and see why the junky is calling this play.

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What it means to be “happy.”

May 24, 2008

Promoted to the front page from the user blogs. I want to thank Gatinha for posting this update to her series aptly titled My Story. You can find the previous postings from My Story here at Gatinha’s blog.

I can’t believe it’s been since January that I last posted. Where has time gone? The good news is that I haven’t picked up that six pack. Something rather miraculous has happened since I posted my story. Telling it and letting it all hang out has apparently removed the obsession to drink.

I’m not saying that I am cured, because that is not possible. But whenever I think of alcohol I can only remember the pain, trauma, rapid heart beats, the sweats, the trembling and panic the day after, sleeping all day hoping that the fear and guilt would go away.

How different life is today. I’m on vacation for the summer, but I actually get out of bed around 8 a.m. For me that is early. I guess that I look different also, because people are complementing me and asking what I have done different with my hair and so on.

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No Excuses Necessary

May 19, 2008

It was several years into my recovery from alcoholism before I could resist the very strong urge to give an explanation for my refusal to those who offered me a drink in social settings. Chalk it up to being self conscious, paranoid, and the skewed alcoholic mental channels my brain operates on but rarely could I just say “no thank you” to a beer or cocktail. I would either launch into my life story or concoct a careful-to-be-truthful but totally misleading scenario that I hoped would deflect interest from my non-imbibing behavior.

Obviously I was overstating the importance of my not drinking would have on the fate of the world.

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Not Cynical, Just Predictable

May 16, 2008

I guess you could call it a justified cynicism, but I rarely give much credit to the statements made by alcoholics and addicts that are making excuses or placing blame on others for their disease. After all, as Stephen king says- it is the liar’s disease.

So when Bethlehem, PA firefighter Howard J. Aubrey sues the city for causing his alcoholism… consider me a skeptic. Read the news story from the link provided first, and then I’ll give you the “more probable” version based on my experience as an alcoholic and working with alcoholics and addicts. Trust me, I have been taking notes and we are a fairly predictable lot.

Now here’s the way I see it: Mr. Aubrey was battling a substance abuse problem and may have already been a full fledged alcoholic when the environment at his work changed making it more difficult to cover his problem. In an effort to compensate, he went to the “good” doctor about his condition and then proceeded to abuse the drugs he was prescribed. This snowballed, led to increased drinking, and he finally hit rock bottom or as the story describes it, a complete breakdown.

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Unstoppable

April 30, 2008

It really lasted the whole game, because I was really untouchable, unstoppable that game. ~ Marcus Allen Heisman Trophy Winner

photo by RussellUnstoppable. Run this term through the search engines and you will come up with a long list of quotes from coaches, sports analysts, and players describing the commitment and talent of the superstars in every sport. It is used to describe special players that despite very long odds seem to pull victory out of thin air at the very last moments of a game despite all odds.

But it also is the perfect description for an alcoholic because there are very few obstacles that will prevent a determined alcoholic from drinking. Ask any experienced caretaker from concerned moms, dispirited husbands, to stymied prison guards and they will all tell you that it is almost impossible to stop an alcoholic from getting to the sauce.

I recently used the term to describe the absolute determination of an alcoholic or addict to drink and drug to a young man new to our recovery meetings. He was feeling a little down about how his father had told him to “man up” and “just stop”, that the whole recovering bit was just a cop out. It’s a common dilemma, the alcoholic or addict finally gets sober often to be ridiculed by even loved ones for being “weak” or taking so long to become “normal”.

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Nikki Sixx and the Cat Box from Hell

April 28, 2008

It’s a long story but the short version is that my wife’s new freezer was the catalyst for events that destroyed my cats’ litter box housing. So right back out shopping we went and settled on a 4’x 2’ dog house with removable top that now serves as their private poo beach. It is literally a cat box from hell, in the awesome type of good way.

All this running around after hours though put me a little behind on updating the site, so I decided to cop out by posting a video of Nikki Sixx that screedler had sent me last week. Truthfully I didn’t expect much from Mr. Sixx who recently released a book on his experiences with alcoholism and drug addiction. I must admit I had him stereotyped as a none too bright burnt out rocker that would probably mutter his way through a speech while promoting a ghost written book. I was very wrong.

Much to my surprise and enjoyment it turns out that Nikki Sixx is a well spoken recovery advocate that delivered a moving message in a heartfelt manner. He covered more ground on relevant recovery issues in less time than it would take most to introduce themselves as an alcoholic. The video is from about six months back where Mr. Sixx spoke to NAADAC, the Association for Addiction Professionals, in Washington DC during recovery month. Before this video I wouldn’t have given his book a second glance, but seeing this man’s passion and grasp of recovery issues I will gladly give it an honest read.

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