Concept inspired by Jeff Foxworthy, list by Letterman, but unfortunately all content comes compliments of my life as an active alcoholic.

You might be an alcoholic if…

And the number one reason you might be an alcoholic…

There’s plenty more where this came from, we’ll do it again when the new TDA is released later this month and the user comments are activated.

ABC seems to have a hit on its hands with the new series FlashForward that blurs the lines of genre by being part sci-fi, drama, and mystery. The show is based on the repercussions of a mysterious global event that has the entire world losing consciousness for 137 seconds during which they apparently get a glimpse of their lives 6 months in the future. The production quality of the show is excellent seeming more movie-like than TV series and other than being a big sci-fi fan there is another good reason that I recommend the show; one of the main characters is a recovering alcoholic… and you can guess what he sees in his near future.

Click “Read more” to continue…

The irony of this of course is that for all of us in recovery from the chronic disease is that we know our past is a likely the future if we don’t continue taking the preventive measures of our recovery plan. It doesn’t take a mysterious event to be able to predict that future, just as neither is there no great secret in how to prevent a relapse in the future. We live day by day, not in the past or the future, continuously reinforcing the walls of a sound recovery.

A TDA hat tip to Hulu, for providing the cool embedded player. Enjoy the show!

I wanted to take a break from the depressing news here in the States, so please join me for a quick getaway across the great pond I’m calling TDA’s European Inebriation (in honor of the Griswalds).

We start out in the UK where a Dorset prison had to uninstall the hand sanitizer pumps initially put in to help prevent swine flu. Apparently the prisoners discovered the cleanser was made mostly of ethyl alcohol and promptly became intoxicated.

Prison officials said,”When you get something called alcohol gel you can see what is going to happen. You don’t want drunk prisoners running around the prison.” ~ BBC

I think the guards have decided they would rather have sick than drunk prisoners. Good choice. Now on to France.

Click “Read more” to continue…

This one comes courtesy of TDA researcher Norm who sent us this link from the French town of Neuf-Brisach where a man drove himself to the local police station to drop off AA flyers. Unfortunately he was twice the limit drunk at the time and was immediately arrested for his second DUI. Talk about a self service arrest!

The kicker of our old world tour comes from Germany where a tipsy private pilot took off from Schoengleida airfield and continued to drink while aloft. He became so drunk that he apparently couldn’t see his instruments or the airport for that matter.

The UK paper The Telegraph reports that after two hours in flight, he was unable to read the instrument panel or find his way back to the airport. He apparently knew he was still in the neighborhood, though. His conversation with the control tower included a couple of songs and a mother-in-law joke. “Come on, I know you’re down there,” he radioed. “Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?” ~ Aero-News.net

A rescue helicopter was dispatched to guide the wayward pilot back in where he somehow landed safely. For some reason the man was not detained so he promptly got in his car and drove away. This was quite a feat considering his blood alcohol level was 4 times the legal limit for driving- not to mention flying! Thank goodness the authorities eventually tracked the man down who will no doubt lose the legal right to both drive and fly.

While funny on the surface, each of these light hearted stories from Europe could just have just as quickly turned to tragedy. And when you consider that most of this behavior is chronic and will surely be repeated- it is just a matter of time before the laughs peter out and the pain begins.

Mother’s Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has linked up with a Canadian marketing firm to introduce a line of MADD sponsored and labeled mojitos, margaritas, pina coladas, beer, and red, white and sparkling wines that are 100% alcohol free.

They’re an alternative for people who want to serve drinks with “the great taste needed to make guests feel like they are part of the party — but without the alcohol,” said MADD’s national president, Laura Dean-Mooney. ~ The Associated Press

Even though I am a supporter of MADD and agree that non-alcoholic “mimic” drinks may be a good alternative for designated drivers, I do question the wisdom of putting their name on adult beverages regardless of the content. MADD already has a large host of detractors from the ABI to minimum age opponents, and this move will certainly give them a controversial issue to target.

Click “Read more” to continue…

A good example of making hay with “MADD drinks” is this opinion piece from DUIattorney.com accusing MADD of selling out… and making a very convincing argument.

It looks to me like MADD is taking it’s esteemed reputation—earned and bolstered by thousands of volunteers, private donations and federal and state tax dollars—and turning it into a name-brand. MADD is using MADD.org to bolster the marketing for MADD, Inc, and thereby profiting from its years as a tax-exempt organization.

Final verdict, I think MADD has made a poor move here. For those that don’t have abuse issues non-alcoholic beverages are fine substitute, but since they have no problem abstaining in the first place it’s sort of a moot point. And for those of us with a history of abuse I strongly discourage the use of these products- it’s not a terribly smart path. Non-alcoholic mimic beverages seem like a good idea on paper, but the market and their realistic use is overestimated in my opinion. MADD will gain another revenue stream from this line of products, but the possible alienation of their supporters and the assured attacks from their opponents may not be worth the effort.

I guess you could say I’m into retro TV. I don’t have cable or satellite TV service but do enjoy watching a few select series on DVD, streaming Netflix, and Hulu- the first two without commercials are especially sweet. The reason I say retro is because most of the shows I end up getting involved with are already several seasons in or even older. The advantage in this is that I get to watch episodes in a contiguous fashion which seems to keep me more involved in the story.

My latest fave is Dead Like Me, which ironically is already dead (cancelled) even though it still seems to have a very loyal fan base. The story revolves around a young lady that is recruited in death to join the ranks of well… death- that’s right, she becomes a grim reaper. The kicker though is that in death she gains an appreciation for her family and life that she virtually ignored while living. If you missed this series I suggest giving it a try (you can click on the pic for a Hulu link that has both seasons), especially if you are in recovery. Because in recovery we too have the opportunity to gain a different perspective of our past lives, but fortunately for us it is not too late to doing something about past wrongs and missed opportunities.

If you a recovering drunk like me- don’t let death come knocking before you’ve had the chance to make amends and become the person you know you can and want to be.

If you are a recovering addict/alcoholic or have a relationship with an addict/alcoholic (work, family, and friend)- then you probably already know this. A practicing alcoholic will have a tire event at least once a month; whether it be a flat, blowout, missing spare, or asking for money to replace said problem. It’s not as if the tire gods are jealous of the bacchanalian worshippers, but instead a combination of two very obvious factors.

Click “Read more” to continue…

First, it’s a convenient excuse used liberally by those late for work or who seek quick and believable cover story… it’s not just drunks that use it, we have just used it more often. Now take that the flat card has already been played one too many times with the fact that priority is on BAC and not tread wear, inflation, or alignment and tire failure is in reality going to occur more often. While not unique or specific to substance abuse- the following warning signs usually will be apparent 1) Extreme cupping and uneven tire wear from misalignment caused by running over curbs, parking stops, ditches, and big wheels 2) just plain bald tires 3) missing spare and the worst 4) Spare mounted on vehicle and already worn out and/or flat.

It’s one of those little pleasures in life we tend to overlook in recovery- riding with new treads and a vehicle that goes straight if you loosen your grip on the steering wheel.

While I thought it was more than a little lame that a company that markets “instant cleansers” that allegedly help people to get over on their drug tests would propose a link exchange with TDA, my cursory examination of their various online product reviews revealed they also employ an embarrassing amount of sockpuppetry.

I will not further this company’s cause by mentioning their name or providing a gratuitous link- but a simple search query will most likely bring them up because in addition to their sockpuppet army- they have mastered and inundated the various social network sites. My advice, drug tests are a whole lot less scary when you are clean in the first place and the constant fear of a random test seems too steep of a price to pay for occasional/recreational drug use. And if its more than recreational… well then a drug test is the least of your worries.

One last thing- when the fine print warns that all sales are FINAL, well there’s probably a good reason! I can only imagine how many saps have missed out on opportunities, lost jobs, or went back to jail because of a reliance on an ineffective product and a lack of faith in themselves.

The durian is a rather large Asian fruit with a thick spiny rind and an extremely aromatic inner flesh, it’s one of those foods that people either love or hate with very few straddling the fence. They’re a favorite of my wife’s family back in Thailand; we can’t get them fresh here in the States only frozen- and that makes it a little harder to pick a “good” one. I put good in quotes because it’s rare to find a frozen durian that lives up to the stiff price they command in our little neck of the South, but we still try once or twice a year. Above is the one my wife brought home this weekend, I took a picture before we opened it up to send to my curious little dynamo of a niece. The wife is much more adept with a knife than I and an experienced durianista, so she took on the task of cutting through the pointy armor. Unfortunately, after paying a premium and cutting through the spines this one was a total write-off… what a disappointment.

The whole ordeal reminded me of a conversation I had not too long ago with a recovering alcoholic who had stuck it out through a considerable amount of misery, deceit, and disappointment with a person they were in a relationship- hoping this person too would find recovery. The person in question finally did get sober, but unfortunately turned out to be just as bad sober as she was drunk. Like us, he did not get to experience the “fruits” of his labor. All is not lost though, my wife and I will just that much more enjoy fresh durian when we visit again with family in Thailand, and in recovery my friend has become all too aware that he cannot change others or dwell in the past and has moved on to better things.

It’s a great reminder, sobriety is just a starting point- not a solution.

College football starts in earnest today and I am more in tune with Boston butt sandwiches, the hi-def big screen, and friends I only see this time of year than blogging today. So instead of worrying about finding my muse I’ll take a shortcut… to the mailbag I say!

I always enjoy getting mail from TDA visitors and regulars alike. Some are just simple thanks or words of encouragement, several have been mean-spirited diatribes, and then there are those that I really like including links to news stories with relevant content.

TDA contributor Screedler sent me a rather strange story from Mexico in which treatment centers are being used as drug cartel recruitment and training centers. The reported mass murder/execution is tragic no doubt, but I find it interesting that the powers-that-be in the cartels understand the difference the between a sober addict and a person in recovery. They are looking for recruits that can stay sober but are comfortable with the druggy lifestyle, those that have the desire to change people, places, and things while turning a new page though- don’t make good recruits and apparently risk death at certain centers in Mexico.

Click “Read more” to continue…

Several readers have sent in links about the denial angle of the Diane Schuler DUI multiple homicide, it seems Mr. Schuler’s continued denial about his wife’s guilt is starting to cause the families of the victims considerable grief. My take on this, drop it Mr. Schuler- it makes no difference now whether or not your wife was a chronic user, for whatever reason she got drunk and she killed a lot of people. End of story.

On a lighter note, official TDA researcher Zentient sent me one of those “what were they thinking” stories about the New Albany mayoral candidate busted for having 42 pounds of marijuana in her basement that just reinforces for me the ditzy stoner stereotype. How did she get caught? She invited the police into her house! Apparently Yvonne Kersey and her husband neglected even to spray the Febreze after smoking pot and then inviting the police in to discuss an alleged computer crime. The officers smelt the marijuana, investigated, and found the huge stash that led to an arrest with charges that will include a minimum two year jail sentence. Doh!

Everyone have a happy and sober holiday weekend, now let the games begin!

Don’t know the story behind this page, but I couldn’t help but believe that this tribute to the icons of my childhood (Steve and Oscar) deserved its own tribute.

TDA, blogger; a man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the treatment. We have the capability to rebuild the alcoholic man. TDA will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. ~
Oscar Goldman on Recovery

Two observations: Recovery is empowering as a six million dollar upgrade and the internet is definitely a wacky place.

Postscript: The Foster Grants, zippered unitard, and the porn star mustache are optional in recovery.