Hat Tip and thanks to TDA reader Norm for the heads up on this one!
It’s being reported that one of my least favorite alcoholics, Andy Dick, will participate in reality show called Sober Living. Locking up a bunch of media whores in a Hollywood mansion full of cameras with celebrity doctor Drew Pinsky is not what I would call a serious attempt at sobriety. In fact, this type of televised in-house treatment is more of an alcoholic oxymoron.

An alcoholic oxymoron is formed when terms are combined that are incongruous or contradictory when considered in context with alcoholism, addiction, and recovery issues. A good example I used recently is when golf pro and alcoholic John Daly talked about his recent “controlled drinking”. Of course we all know that an alcoholic that is even considering drinking is already effectively, out of control.

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The reason in-house treatment is so much more effective than out patient or daily meetings is that it is an encompassing process that ensures recovery remains THE priority. The thought of an in-house treatment full of cameras and a public eager for the next episode of drama queen antics, it won’t take long before the alcoholics realize that it is their behavior and not their disease which is the main subject of concern here. Alcoholics are well skilled at the art of diversion, making sure that their drinking remains a secondary issue. Having a group of spoiled, flamboyant attention hogs that includes the likes of Andy Dick and well… you get the picture, and it won’t be recovery related.

Media-savvy therapist Dr. Drew Pinsky is rumored to be involved in the show, which will cage marginal celebrities in a Beverly Hills mansion while producers prod them toward recovery and/or trainwreck TV. ~ Yahoo

But I don’t blame Andy Dick for this; no it is his lewd and crude behavior of the past that earns my distaste. Drew Pinsky is the one here that deserves to be called out on the carpet; a doctor should know better than participate in a farce like this. A doctor should treat patients in a healing environment, not benefit from their suffering like an emperor lording over the cruel games of the Roman Coliseum.

The names, places, and circumstances may vary, but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it The Alcoholic Playbook.

Looking more like the star of a tribute film to John Candy than a professional athlete, John Daly, an alcoholic with a bipolar golf game, will run the route for us today demonstrating the “Control Play”. With at least three trips to the Betty Ford Clinic for alcoholism, four ruined marriages, and a gambling habit that has cost him upwards of $50 million- obviously control is not one of John’s better talents. However he does not let this fact get in the way after an alleged drinking incident in the Hooters hospitality tent led to a golf analyst commenting, “The most important thing in his life is getting drunk.”

“That hurt. There were some rumours flying, probably because of my past. My lifestyle has been great. I’m eating too much, but I’m hardly drinking at all – and I never go out. I guess that’s just the way my life is going to be for a long time because of my past.” ~ TimesOnline

”But I’m hardly drinking at all”… uhhh yeah, right John, you’ve got the drinking under control. You’re an alcoholic yet somehow you rationalize eating too much and the comments of a talking head as being more harmful than the fact the YOU ARE STILL DRINKING! A good sand wedge will not extract you from this relapse trap.

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This quote was rather disheartening to me because I have always admired his brutal honesty and ability to bounce back and succeed even after the most spectacular failures. An underdog and scrappy fighter, John Daly was an alcoholic that made no excuses and held his head high… until now.

The control play is one practiced by fledgling, practicing, and relapsing alcoholics and addicts. It’s sort of a trick play that consists of the alcoholic oxymoron “controlled drinking” that is shielded from scrutiny by other issues that run interference. In John’s case it’s the overeating and snide comments of others that he is using as interference to cover the fact that he started back drinking. Hopefully it will not be the case, but I would give good odds that eventually it will be these same very issues that his clouded mind will use to rationalize ratcheting up the drinking as a coping mechanism.

I call controlled drinking an alcoholic oxymoron because the two words are absolutely contradictory in this context. An alcoholic that is even considering drinking is already effectively, out of control.