I am excited about a couple of movies coming out this holiday season.  The two that top my list are Tron: Legacy and Black Swan. 

Tron is a pick being a sequel to one of the most unique, forward thinking and visually cool movies that came out in my youth.   It’s a movie that for me has improved with age.   The original came out in my first year at college.  This was before anyone owned anything more technologically advanced than a Texas Instruments calculator and did school papers on a typewriter; electric if you were lucky.  But even with that marvel you depended on White-out.  As years passed the movie made more and more sense to me and it’s astonishing the ideas they had in it that were a glimpse of things to come.  I am going to set my expectations very reasonably for this one, since its a sequel and not from what I’ve seen or heard, dealing with things unimagined.  But hey, it’s in 3D and has a soundtrack by Daft Punk.  Bonus points also for not one, but two Jeff Bridges.  So, I definitely will be seeing this one.  

The second one is Black Swan.  This one is already out in limited release and I hope it makes it to the sometimes limited theater screens in my area.  Sometimes very worthy, arty, but perhaps profit challenged movies don’t even make an appearance in my neck of the woods.  The posters at the front of my theater ususally depict cartoons with numbers after them or teenagers dancing, cheering, playing sports or dying gruesomely.

Of the two mentioned I have higher hopes for Black Swan.  It’s directed by the gifted Darren Aronofsky, who has previously made some of my favorites - ”Pi” , “The Fountain”, “The Wrestler” and one of Screedler’s Top 5 Addiction Movie’s “Requiem for Dream”.  It also stars Natalie Portman, my favorite actress.  Obviously a Star Wars fan, I really didn’t develop a crush on her until “Garden State” and “V for Vendetta”.  On top of being a superb actress, a true intellectual by all accounts, and very funny; she is unbearably beautiful and cute at the same time.  The movie also features Mila Kunis who I think is destined for big things. 

I like movies that make you think and Aronofsky’s movies often do this.  After you see one, you can almost always argue with someone about what they meant.   He often likes to expose the dark side of life in his films, but at the same time challenge viewers to see the beauty that can be found there.  Beauty might not be the right word.  He seems to want us to embrace our embarrassing fascination of bad things and know we are not alone.

I have not read a lot about the movie. I see it is getting mixed reviews.  But it’s supposedly about a dancer who wants the role of the Black Swan in Swan Lake and in the process actually becomes one – a wereswan they are calling it.  A wereswan – now that’s just cool.  I have been and may still be a black sheep.  So I am interested in seeing the transformation.  Hopefully, I can post a review at a later date and tie it in with something recovery related.

With the push for the legalization of marijuana and such legislation as California’s Prop 19 moving past the mostly accepted wink-wink-nudge-nudge-medical-use to the presently debated tax-and-regulate argument, the past success of pot proponents may actually become the biggest hurdle to further approval.

In the past, advocates have claimed the opposition’s position on marijuana as a gateway drug to more harmful drug use and collateral criminal activity is a strawman argument based on dated Reefer Madness scare tactics and misinformation, hysteria instead of facts. Pardon the pun, but those in support of this issue took a hit this month when five medical marijuana dispensaries were busted for selling cocaine and meth.

The raids happened at five medical marijuana clinics, two processing sites, a grow site, seven residences and a sailboat in Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, and San Diego counties. Authorities were targeting a group making and selling cocaine, meth and marijuana at medical marijuana dispensaries, Capt. Ralph Ornelas said. ~ KTLA News

Claims that it is a house built of straw go up in smoke, the argument that cannabis is a gateway drug is rapidly becoming a demonstrable fact as the doors to the brick and mortar medical marijuana dispensaries open up to a slippery slope of criminal activity and hard drugs. If the supposedly highly informed, well regulated, and good intentioned medical marijuana dispensaries are so easily perverted, what chance will the very impressionable and inexperienced young people have in these same areas?

Below is a post I made back in 2008 about Prometa which was being promoted by pharmaceutical company Hythiam as a breakthrough drug for the treatment of meth and cocaine addiction. I had followed with interest the much ballyhooed drug after seeing it highlighted on a 60 Minutes segment. Prometa seemed too good to be true from the get go and it didn’t take long before my skepticism turned to plain disbelief. The post below was the last I wrote on the subject after the Hythiam’s stock had plunged as others came to the same conclusion; I called the $2.75 stock price their rock bottom. I was wrong.

Not wrong about the effectiveness of Prometa, just way off by describing the 08 stock price as rock bottom. Today Hythiam is trading at a nickel.

January 13, 2008

During the same week that MSNBC reports setbacks plaguing drug addiction remedy Prometa, The News Tribune in Seattle details relates the trouble with Washington Rep. Dennis Flannigan possibly being sanctioned because of his stock ownership in Hythiam, the company that licenses the alleged cure for addiction.

Prometa is apparently not only a factor in bringing down politicians, it seems to have done quite a trick on Hythiam’s stock price that has plunged precipitously over the last three months.

A trial of a controversial drug cocktail designed to treat meth and cocaine addiction has been halted after an audit found that the treatment’s success rate had been “greatly exaggerated.” The action was a major blow to Hythiam Inc., which licenses the “Prometa protocol” to private doctors and stands to benefit financially if it can gain access to public funding of drug treatment across the country. Coupled with subsequent media reports that public officials who championed the pilot program owned stock in Hythiam, the news sent the company’s shares plummeting from more than $8 a share in October to about $2.75 this week.~ MSNBC.com

An alcoholic often has to hit rock bottom before facing the lies and consequences of an unmanageable life, I wonder if Hythiam is facing the same kind of decision with it’s Prometa Protocol that may end up being more successful as a marketing campaign than a cure for addiction?

Thank you author and speaker Lisa Frederiksen of Breaking the Cycles for this regular series sharing her decades long experience of dealing with family alcoholism and alcohol abuse. Click here to see the rest of the series.

Something most of us do not fully understand is the physical consequences to the health of a family member or friend that are caused by secondhand drinking/drugging (SHDD). These health consequences are the result of the repetitive activation of the brain and body’s instinctual fight-or-flight stress response system. For many family members and friends, this system instinctively engages as they try to cope, control, minimize, deny, protect self and others when faced with a loved one’s chronic substance misuse with little or no understanding of the condition/disease.

Taking an excerpt from my latest book, Loved One In Treatment? Now What!:

The Fight-or-Flight (a.ka. Stress Response) System
The fight-or-flight system is complex, but in very GENERAL terms, it works as follows.

The system engages when the key stress hormones – adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol are triggered. These stress hormones cause a number of reactions: blood vessels under the skin to constrict to prevent blood loss in case of injury; endorphins to kick in to blunt pain; the digestive system to shut down and muscles controlling the bladder to relax in order to conserve glucose.59 These stress hormones also cause the bronchial tubes of the lungs to dilate in order to carry more oxygen to the muscles; the liver to breakdown stored complex carbohydrates into usable glucose for energy; the blockage of insulin receptors at the nonessential tissues and organ sites in order to increase the flow of glucose to areas needed for fight-or-flight60 and an increase in heart rate and blood flow to the large muscles so as to enable a person to “run faster, jump higher.” This response system even causes the pupils to dilate in order to see better. It’s impressive what our bodies can do in such a short time without consciously “thinking” about it!

All of this occurs because the instinctual hardwiring of our fight-or-flight system was “built in” to be triggered by physical danger in order to keep humans safe – “RUN or FIGHT but don’t just stand there!! That’s a gigantic woolly mammoth coming at you!”

Today, however, the fight-or-flight system is triggered more often than not by thoughts and emotions rather than actual physical danger.61 Nevertheless, all of the physical changes that the system sets in motion – the increased glucose, heart rate and muscle contractions, for example – still occur. Yet, for the most part, a person does not engage in the physical activity that expends the energy these physical changes are meant to support.

Therefore, if a person is under repeated or constant stress, all of the physiological reactions just “sit” in various body tissues until (or if) they are reabsorbed or expended. The physical and/or emotional health ramifications of chronically activating the fight-or-flight system, but not carrying it through to its conclusion, are many. They may include: headaches, upset stomach, skin rashes, hair loss, racing heartbeat, back pain, muscle aches, anxiety, depression, migraines, difficulty concentrating, vertigo and the like.

SHDD might also result in:
Heart Disease
Fibromyalgia
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Chronic sinusitis
Unexplained joint pain, night sweats, or fever.
Excessive weight gain or loss
Chronic fatigue and immune deficiency syndrome
Spastic colon or IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)

The physical (let alone emotional) impacts of secondhand drinking/drugging are real. Collectively, we must start to acknowledge this fact. And when we or someone else we love or know talks about these physical symptoms, we must ask ourselves, “Am I / Are they living with an active substance abuser?” If the answer is yes, effective treatment is far more complicated than simply treating the physical symptom/ailment.

Requested from the 07 archives.

They say one of the surest signs of alcoholism is drinking alone. No doubt this can be a sign of problem drinking, yet you have many people that do most of their drinking alone but are considered safe, “normal” drinkers.

So what’s the difference?

Well it’s not so much the drinking alone that’s the real problem here; it’s why the alcoholic will drink alone. Shame, embarrassment, and secrecy are all contributing factors but the overwhelming reason an alcoholic will isolate their self from others is their inability to face reality. Total dependence upon alcohol means that all things in life are now derived from drinking. Joy, sadness, courage… everything comes from the bottle until the very substance that provides life takes away the ability to live it.

At least for me, the facade of normalcy was no longer possible when the bartender asked if I needed help or when a convenience store clerk commented on the way my hand shook or how it was awful early for a beer. Even associating with other drunks, those considerate of our common plight became too painful a reminder of my sad state. Any contact with the real world made me painfully aware that I was no longer the master of my own destiny, and the very substance that gave me the strength to face the day also insured I would too debilitated to follow through.

It wasn’t the drinking alone that was the problem, it was why I was drinking alone.

Joan Crawford: Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?
Christina Crawford: Yes, Mommie.
Joan Crawford: Yes, Mommie what?
Christina Crawford: Yes, Mommie Dearest.
Joan Crawford: When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.

They say confession is good for the soul and certainly there is a feeling of liberation when we unburden ourselves to our peers. I think I’ve heard it all in recovery meetings from “I have been a terrible friend” to “I should have been sentenced to life”, but it is extremely rare to hear anyone speak of how of bad a parent they’ve been. Sure, we’ve probably all heard the regrets of the parents with older, estranged kids or those lamenting the fact their children have been taken away. It is my experience however, that those still using or drinking are much more likely to say, “But, I’ve been a good parent.”

In reality though this is patently untrue, one can not be a good parent and have an addiction because no matter what the drug ALWAYS comes first. It’s the definition. An addict or alcoholic only shows any consideration for their children after they have fed their addiction. When in the throes of an addiction the drug of choice is one’s top priority, not ballgames or recitals. I get grief for saying this, but it is true in every case: If you are a practicing alcoholic or addict, your kids are at best number two in your life.

In rare moments of what I sure is very painful introspection, parents in recovery have told me that while using they would attend to the needs of their children out of a perverted sense of responsibility. They gained no satisfaction from this act other than a justification that now their duty was done, it was time to feed. During active addiction, their drug of choice is the only thing that can provide any emotional reward. It’s the nature of the beast, an addiction eventually consumes all thoughts and actions and children of addicted parents will eventually be neglected at best but the results are usually much worse.

Inevitably someone will read this and respond by saying that they are still using, but that they are a good parent.

My answer: I am the wrong person you need to convince, think about it.

I plan to post a Q&A with my friend and talented author Lisa Frederiksen on her new book very soon, but until then here is a quick summary of Loved One in Treatment? Now What?

It’s been my experience that books written on the topic of addiction and recovery fall into three general categories: 1) Personal life stories meant to inspire or shock 2) Technical topics for the researcher and student 3) The latest “cure” or in vogue methodology. None of these are really very helpful to the average family dealing with the addiction struggle of a loved one. What families need are their answers questioned, not a reality show or divine inspiration, and certainly not a science class.

In her last book If You Loved Me, You’d Stop, author Lisa Frederiksen created a new category that I described as a user manual for dealing with addiction. Short, to the point, and informative- the book explained what is going on and how to deal with it. Her latest work is titled Loved One in Treatment? Now What? It covers the latest in research and treatment but once again in a practical format with simple explanations specifically tailored to helping families understand the task at hand. Both get my recommendation.

No shock tactics, gimmicks, or chapter after chapter of war stories- Frederiksen has produced both of these works not with sales or self gratification in mind, but instead with the sole purpose of providing a source of information and practical suggestions for the family struggling with addiction issues.

Even with the wink-wink-nod-nod acceptance that the majority of “patients” prescribed medical marijuana are looking for a buzz instead of a cure, the cannabis dispensaries in the six states that allow this sort of distribution have maintained an air of legitimacy.  Big money advocacy and loyal stoners of the marijuana lobby have supported this medical façade for years now despite the hippicentric, head shop nature of dispensaries offering exotic strains of dubious purpose.  Marijuana-infused ice cream however,the latest get high scheme for the legalized potheads, may just be a little too in-your-face for those like me that tend to tolerate the abuse of a system put in place to help people… not just to get high.

I’m not alone, Robert L. DuPont, president of the Institute for Behavior and Health says that even though marijuana supporters seem to have the momentum- they may soon see a backlash.

But DuPont, who served as a top drug policy official under Presidents Nixon, Ford and Carter, also predicts that increasing use will, in time, bring tolerance to an end. “I’m confident these folks have created the reaction that will stop them,” he says. “The data’s going to get worse in coming years and that’s going to re-create the bipartisan opposition to illegal drug use that we saw between 1979 and 1991.” ~ NPR

Yes, proponents will rationalize the existence of triple chocolate high scream, but I say they have jumped the shark here and have dropped all pretenses that this is a product of compassion.  It may just be the spark that starts a backlash, one that will leave the one out of ten with a legitimate need without access to real medical marijuana- now that’s not compassionate at all.

Thank you Bobby Jean for making me think about Calvin and Hobbes again- they always make me laugh.  A much needed break from the 2007 TDA archives reminds me even serious subjects have a lighter side.

Bill Watterson’s modern classic comic about a boy and his tiger, Calvin and Hobbes, has been a favorite of mine since the early days of my sobriety. I discovered Calvin when I still felt unsettled and self conscious about my plight as an alcoholic. The bookstore coffee shop was a safe refuge where I could get out of the house without getting into temptation and burn the dangerous, free time away.

I’ll bet I read every Calvin book they had on the shelf at least three times, I liked them all. From Scientific Progress Goes “Boink” to Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat; I believe it was here that I learned to laugh again. Not a forced or polite titter, but the soul healing irrepressible laughter that makes you look around to make sure nobody is sizing you up for a straight jacket. However it wasn’t until much later in my recovery that I learned another valuable life-lesson even though it was drawn out for me in those very pages.

“That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” ~Calvin

Now I am sure it is perfectly healthy for a five-year old with a talented stuffed tiger to expect this out of life, but for an addict or an alcoholic it’s just plain dangerous. Why? Well because Calvin would go out and build a transmogrifier and push the limits of his imagination to attain his goals while an addict will instead seek a magic pill and withdraw into his own little fantasy world. I began thinking about this phrase since I read Erin’s post on relapse in which she didn’t so much fall off the wagon as she allowed her thought pattern to slip back into their old routines. I know the feeling, you heard me say it before, it’s thinking like an alcoholic. It’s taking the benadryl because I deserve a “deeper” sleep or leaving a perfectly good job because I am “worth more” even though it means unemployment. Calvin may have been a day dreamer, but just as soon as he could imagine a scenario he would be out in the front yard building it out of snow, getting out the shovel and digging it up, or making it out cardboard boxes.

It’s alright to demand wonderful things from life, but in a healthy recovery you have to be prepared to go out there and make it happen.

Every month at TDA is all-about-recovery and I usually try to do something extra special in September for the annual National Alcohol & Drug Addiction Recovery Month. This September though my wife’s chemotherapy is taking priority, but before the chance slips away I would still like to direct you toward this excellent website chock full of resources and event info for the occasion. Go ahead and bookmark this one, beyond listing Recovery Month activities it also has a list of valuable resources for those seeking treatment, information on recovery, or somewhere to turn for help.