If you are a recovering addict/alcoholic or have a relationship with an addict/alcoholic (work, family, and friend)- then you probably already know this. A practicing alcoholic will have a tire event at least once a month; whether it be a flat, blowout, missing spare, or asking for money to replace said problem. It’s not as if the tire gods are jealous of the bacchanalian worshippers, but instead a combination of two very obvious factors.

Click “Read more” to continue…

First, it’s a convenient excuse used liberally by those late for work or who seek quick and believable cover story… it’s not just drunks that use it, we have just used it more often. Now take that the flat card has already been played one too many times with the fact that priority is on BAC and not tread wear, inflation, or alignment and tire failure is in reality going to occur more often. While not unique or specific to substance abuse- the following warning signs usually will be apparent 1) Extreme cupping and uneven tire wear from misalignment caused by running over curbs, parking stops, ditches, and big wheels 2) just plain bald tires 3) missing spare and the worst 4) Spare mounted on vehicle and already worn out and/or flat.

It’s one of those little pleasures in life we tend to overlook in recovery- riding with new treads and a vehicle that goes straight if you loosen your grip on the steering wheel.

Republican John Sullivan (R OK-1) and Democrat Patrick Kennedy (D RI-1) returned to Washington this week after serving their full term in another kind of “office”… rehab that is. Sullivan is the alcoholic and Kennedy is the addict- but we all know sometimes it’s just a case of first available. I say that not to be crude but instead to illustrate the fact that no matter what our station is in life…when drinking, I’m just an alky and so are they. The polarizing politics of today have got me sneering at both political parties, but I will give them both a TDA Salute for owning up to their problem and speaking out on the subject.

I wish upon them a bipartisan recovery, may it foster better judgment n Washington on both sides of the aisle.

Thanks to TDA researcher Norm for sending me a link to this very strange piece, My dad saved me, and I killed him, by Richard Farrell that ran in the Los Angeles Times last week. To be honest, I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to a father’s day tribute, cathartic sharing, or just a parody gone astray. Richard can’t seem to decide whether or not his father was a sick freak or a storied saint. Personally, I think drama queen Richard has pulled a Jessica Rabbit and is passing off a caricature of his dad instead of the real thing in order to cope with the more mundane reality that he willfully became an addict.

He slowly reached for my hand just as he had done years ago on that ride home from Little League tryouts. And at that instant, we both experienced the pain and madness of love. Then he was gone.
That night, I shot my first bag of heroin.

I know I still have a hard time separating the lies I used to justify my alcoholism from the disappointing reality of my past. Just as I wanted a reason to continue using I struggled in early recovery to find some sort of excuse for the time lost. There are many things that no doubt attributed to my alcoholism, but no single event played as great a role as the thousand times I willfully ignored the chance to quit before that choice was no longer an option.

I mean no disrespect to his dad- not that I could outdo the shock fest of dirty laundry publishing he’s already accomplished, but this story is full of holes and might as well serve a higher purpose. No one wants to be just an addict or alcoholic, but regardless of the path traveled we all end up in the same shape. Ignoring that reality just makes it that much harder to find a sound recovery and a lasting happiness.

When I saw this clip it reminded me of the extreme selfishness of the alcoholic/addict and the hopeless position of family and loved ones. I’ve worked this scenario from both sides, as the alcoholic and later in life taking on the role of stressed family member; neither side has it good, but I think the light saber cuts deeper on the family side.

If you just quit or are still drinking, don’t laugh- you are Vader, only worse! Think step 8 and never, ever take your family for granted or dare throw up a shield of resentment.

It’s a funny clip though, and for those of us in the know we have to take our laughs where we can get them. Enjoy.

NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield is proclaiming his innocence after being suspended for failing a drug test. My first thought is drug tests don’t lie, but people do. Yes, the tests can be misinterpreted, inconclusive, mishandled, administered wrong, or used inappropriately- but they don’t lie. People lie, and more often than not they lie about drug tests. Addicts lie routinely, it is the obvious symptom of what Stephen King calls the liar’s disease.

Anyone in the recovery, treatment, and advocacy community faces a paradox when it comes to drug testing. Having my own life experience and being exposed to alcoholics and addicts on a weekly basis I know that in most cases when a drug test that comes up dirty, regardless of the inevitable denials, it is just that… dirty. Yes, sometimes there has been a mistake but for the most part the mistake was usually a decision to smoke a joint or pop a xanax. So for an advocate supposedly supporting those suffering from addiction and substance abuse, how does one find a way to support the one in hundred falsely accused without enabling the crowd that will try to hide behind your shield?

Click “Read more” to continue…

I’ve been asked before to speak up for a patient at the clinic claiming to have been done in by faulty testing, as a default position I recommend following the guidelines set for questioning a suspect test. Validating the law of addict averages, most never do or after an alternate sample is tested the protests and the protestor are strangely absent.

The only solution to maintaining a sane advocacy is to always encourage and support, but not past the point of reason or in an enabling manner. No system or drug testing is perfect, but we are better with them than without. One positive thing I can say about dug testing, especially when it comes to drug courts, is that just a drug test may send some people to jail- they are an irreplaceable tool for keeping many more safe and free of incarceration.

Still, I hope that for Mr. Mayfield this all works out and it was all just a big mistake… but I doubt it.

The names, places, and circumstances may vary,
but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it the alcoholic playbook.

I usually use as an example the already publicized spectacle of celebrity drunken antics, that’s your cue Amy Winehouse, when reviewing a page out of the alcoholic playbook. This time however I have asked permission from one of my favorite bloggers, The Junky’s Wife, if I could use her husband as my playmaker.

What is scary is that I’ve decided I’m not doing detox with him again. If he doesn’t find a job and get himself squared away, I’m asking him to leave for the detox part. It’s not good for me, and I can’t do it, especially not right now when I have too many jobs and not enough time. ~ 5 Days Ago

He has already try to use a diversionary play and it failed miserably, or at least that is what one might assume if not experienced in playing such a crafty opponent.

We had a falling out this morning, however, about his desperate, life-or-death need for weights… He thought he’d found a remarkable shortcut to avoiding paying bills. His aunt deposits the money that she owes him directly into my account because she doesn’t like handing him cash, and I’ve told him that I won’t take any money out of my account for “toys” for him until he has deposited enough money to pay his bills for the week. His loophole was to ask his aunt to take him directly to the store and purchase the item for him, and he seemed dreadfully confused at first why I would say that his idea wasn’t good. Then, he became angry when I refused to tell his aunt that it was ok with me for her to spend money that he should be giving me to pay bills on weights. And then he yelled a lot. ~ 2 Days Ago

But in his reality, it was the ultimate setup. He has already proven to himself that everyone is plotting against him. They all want him to fail, I mean after all, surely dedicating himself to the quest of building the perfect body would have sidelined his desire for drugs.

It’s just the lead up to our current situation.

I realized as he stood there, still threatening me with a knife, that I was in a moment that felt pretty unmanageable, and I said a little prayer. I didn’t respond to him for a few moments. I also, slowly, realized that there’s a real good chance that he wasn’t concerned about who was coming in the house at all…there was just too much he could have done to confirm that it was me, like look out the window at my car in the driveway. There was no need, also, for him to continue to hold the knife like that, so menacingly. There was no need for the yelling. ~ Yesterday

Now the funny part about all this is that it is not the screaming idiot with the knife that scares me, it’s the particular play that he is executing that worries me. He’s already used the dog ate my methadone excuse. He has already established that everyone is against him. Even the knife is old hat, take a look at this post from almost exactly one year ago.

So the last time my husband was acting up with the silverware, he got us in a whole world of trouble. I keep finding knives, everywhere. There is one on the back of the toilet, and one by the bed, and one on the mantle, and one under the stairs. ~ 1 Year Ago

Now he has to produce something truly dramatic to excuse the total relapse and failure he has been planning for at least two weeks now. “Do you want to see something really scary?” From experience I know this is where alcoholics and addicts hurt themselves, personally I’ve busted my face open… planned and on purpose. I know of those who have wrecked their car, committed a crime, and one person I know has even shot himself in the foot! My advice to TJW I gave last year still stands.

The Discovering Alcoholic said… I don’t leave a hammer in the bathtub because its very presence just makes it all the more likely that I will use it. And using a hammer in the bathtub never creates pleasant results! Same with the knives in strange locations and especially for someone with an at-best tenuous recovery and frame of mind. Drunk and high but not using heroin? Got a job but doesn’t work or get paid? Drug spoons that just happen to appear and now knives? Have an exit plan ready my friend. I pray you will get the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 Year Ago

Am I always perfect in my prognostications? Absolutely not. But one thing I know for sure is that an addict that is not working a recovery program only gets worse, not better. So when people are screaming and the knives are waving, what could be worse…???

I don’t want to see something scary. Please take care of yourself TJW.

The original 1956 version of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers where aliens with an ultramundane agenda take the place of humans in society has often been considered by film buffs to be a political allegory of the cold war communist threat and paranoia of the time. The nature of the film insures an almost timeless interpretation to the fill-in-the-blank fear or threat of the day as remake after remake has been considered a reflection of the issue da jour.

While there is not a remake in the works that I know of that would prompt this TDA interpretation, for reasons I will keep to myself it seems an appropriate time to post.