I have 15 years of uninterrupted sobriety and yet I still feel out of place sometimes when it comes to going to a new AA meeting. When I think about it though, it’s not the AA meeting itself that is unsettling but instead just the fact that I am sitting down with a complete group of strangers. Even a quilting bee could be unsettling if one feels out of place or as if everyone in the room but you know one another. Add discussing what can be a very personal and uncomfortable topic to the occasion and no wonder that a lot of people look to the web for advice about how to handle AA jitters.

I noticed that this odd-news post, Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting Etiquette Hints, from last year was getting an awful lot of traffic and decided it might be time to post something better than “one should refrain from robbing others at the meeting.” So here are my Top 5 pointers for AA newcomers:

1. Be early. Trust me coming in late is the best way to draw attention to yourself.
2. Don’t be afraid to smile and shake someone’s hand. First name and “glad to be here” is standard fare.
3. Listen more, talk less.
4. No phone, snacks, or games- no distractions.
5. Make it a goal to remember three names, then the next meeting is not full of strangers.

I am a perpetual newcomer to AA meetings since I do not have a regular group. I sometimes attend accompanying someone new to recovery to make them feel more comfortable- but I always get a lot out of the experience. I probably will never be an AA regular, but I can say without reservation that the things I learned in AA during my early sobriety formed the basis of my long term successful recovery. I highly recommend it to anyone with a drinking problem regardless of their circumstances.

If you are thinking about a meeting and feeling nervous, just go. Use the pointers or not, just go… and keep going back.

We seldom agree on movies and almost never on politics and the issues but Roger Ebert and I do have at least one thing in common, we are both recovering alcoholics. Mr. Ebert is celebrating his 30th year in recovery and has done so with a heartfelt commentary on his blog about AA and his recovery. It’s good stuff, so I’ll Roger tell his own story.

Click here to read My Name is Roger, and I’m an alcoholic.

I’m a few weeks late, but congratulations on your recovery milestone and thank you for sharing openly about your own struggle and the value of AA.

I want thank friend and TDA contributor Screedler for sharing this post of two topics- famous alcoholics and speaker meetings.

Stop! – before reading this post please start playing the video posted above. I want to set the mood, then read on.

Speaker Meetings have always been one of the highlights of AA meetings I have attended in the last 4 years. Every last Friday of the month, my home group devotes its entire meeting to a speaker. This can be anyone that has at least one year of sobriety and has a sponsor. In general, they tell their story of “how I got there (addicted), what it was like, how I got sober, and what it is like now that I am sober”. I have heard talks from people with one year sobriety and some from people with 30 years sobriety. There is always an underlying thread that I can relate to. No matter what our backgrounds we all have experience with the same struggle. Yes, there are some that are so rambling, incoherent or self indulgent that it may be hard to take something positive away from the speech …but even they provide lessons on recovery.

Recently, I stumbled upon a speaker meeting on YouTube that I found very interesting – not so much because of the content, but because of the speaker – Stevie Ray Vaughan. Most people know who he is – a musician who is always listed in the top ten of any list you can find of the best electric guitarists there have ever been. His specialty was the blues, and as an alcoholic and addict I am sure he was well acquainted with his subject matter. In this speaker meeting, he touches on all the points above and laughs and cries in the process.

Click “Read more” to continue…

I have never been asked to tell my story and that is probably because I come across as shy to people who don’t know me and especially in meetings. But I hope that someday they will and that I have the courage to share. It is a blessing that Stevie was able to share his story for both himself and others before his untimely death. But I believe he at least died happy, as this meeting was recorded not long before his death. Below I have posted links to one of his known recorded speaker meetings. This one lasts about 35 minutes, which is about average length as speaker meeting speeches run.

Part 1 – click here

Part 2 – click here

Part 3 – click here

Part 4 – click here

The “gem” that I heard in his speech was that through recovery he discovered that there is such a thing as happiness. He says that at even though he isn’t happy all the time – he at least knows that such a thing does exist. True happiness is real and attainable. He didn’t before and neither did I.

This is one my favorite SRV songs and proof enough that he is one of the greats of guitar – its one of those songs that gives me the chill bumps when I get into it.

Traveling hard this week and with another early morning and difficult meeting on the schedule I feared that tonight’s update would suffer. Never fear though, I ran across one of those rare pieces that I feel absolutely no need to add commentary or to add caveat. It’s plain, sound wisdom from a man who’s been there, done that, and discovered the key to recovery; don’t drink, regardless of how you manage it or what program you attend, just don’t drink.

Most of us were staying dry — getting sober — and getting “well”. That method of friend selection continued into my entry into the field and there I found many recovered folks that had a broader perspective on recovery. I think that we naturally gravitated toward one another and developed a more comfortable support system– no “musts” or insistence on anything, except “don’t take a drink”. ~ Examiner.com

Read the entire Profile of a recovering alcoholic at the Examiner.com by Angeline Davis.

There seems to be a little bit of confusion not only with the general public but also in the blogosphere that everyone in recovery should try their best to remain anonymous. I know that much of this has to do with misconception that if one is in recovery, it must have been accomplished through a 12 step program like AA. I’ve even had someone try to make the point that I should not voice my opinion in a political/issues debate because of the twelfth tradition.

I don’t know if you are an alcoholic, but I assume you at least have a close association with alcoholism and its treatment. Do us all a favor, foocus [sic] on your recovery and the 12 traditions – stay out of political debate. ~ Idiot Stoner #124,769

Personally, I think the world could do with a little less addiction anonymity and a whole lot more recognition of those in a successful recovery. It not only reduces the stigma by providing role model examples of those in recovery as responsible and productive members of society, but also encourages others not to be embarrassed to seek help. More than anything it can foster hope to those suffering from addiction and their families that have given up hope.

Click “Read more” to continue…

Yes, anonymity still has its place- to protect those in early recovery or that may be in some way harmed or discriminated against. But even for those active in AA, the twelfth tradition can and is still maintained by those in a mature recovery that wish to openly advocate- by making it a recovery issue instead of an AA issue.

The bottom line is that if the general public sees that there is a heck of a lot more successful people out there that are recovering addicts and alcoholics than they realized, it will begin to reduce the stigma for those that are suffering in silence. Most people relate alcoholism only with the gutter drunk, but it would be nice if they also saw the potential for a recovery success. It will not happen though if all the success stories- the doctors and lawyers, the carpenters and millwrights- if they all disappear into a successful but anonymous recovery.

• Step 1 – Admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable

• Step 2 – Admitted, said out loud, and meant, to ourselves and to many others our nature and the warped reality of our existence

• Step 3 – Decided to act upon this predicament and stay sober at all costs, getting professional help when necessary

• Step 4 – Made a deeply introspective list of all things stressful, worrisome, embarrassing, or pending that required action so that recovery becomes a priority

• Step 5 – Made daily and measurable progress on correcting items on this list, also identifying those items which were honestly beyond our power to change

• Step 6 – Reflect, refine, and repeat

Do I have a problem with the 12 Steps? Absolutely not. Did I have a problem with the 12 Steps? You betcha! While still drinking and in even in early recovery I concentrated on the reasons why the steps would not work for me, the religious aspect, the spiritual aspect, and the many logic traps I spent hours/days creating. I still worked all the steps diligently, yet deep in my heart lacked faith in many of the steps.

Over time it has become obvious to me that the 12 Steps have two purposes, one is to help people quit drinking and the other is to learn again how to live without drinking. The latter can not happen before the first, and I think this is the cause of many abandoning their program in frustration.

Click “Read more” to continue…

So for those out there that have decided that AA or other 12 Step programs just will not work for your “unique” case, try my abbreviated steps. I will be more than willing to blog on any step if anyone wants clarification or is in disagreement (I expect a blog from you first though). They worked for me even though at the time I didn’t realize this was how I was going about my program. Just as I did not realize later in my recovery, after years of sobriety, that the 12 steps made a lot more sense to me because of my recovery. Faith and spirituality did not get me sober, but I can say without a doubt that I found both because of my recovery.

I am still not religious in the traditional sense, my faith is personal and unorthodox, but my spirituality is what has really opened the door to learning to live happy again without drinking- and it gets better every day. Maybe like me, you just might enjoy revisiting the 12 steps later in your recovery- definitely something to look forward to. A future I promise you will not have if you continue making excuses of why you can’t stop drinking.

The famous blue “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous turns 70 this month and will probably pass the mark of 30 million copies sold later this year.

In addition to discovering that the first edition copies were actually red, with a little research I found out that books from the original first printing of 5000 are going anywhere from $4,000 to $40,000 depending on the condition. One of the rarest copies is kept in a safe by the Alcoholics Anonymous archivist in Akron, OH; it is actually signed by both founder and author Bill W. and co-founder Dr. Bob and rests along side the original manuscript.

The forward of the first edition printing reads:

”We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.”

I wonder if Bill W. and Dr. Bob had any idea from those original one hundred men and women AA would grow into an international organization with over 2 million members and that the Big Book would become one of the most influential books of the 20th century? Now that’s a big 12th step!

Hint #72: In order to facilitate recovery (and life), one should refrain from robbing others at the meeting.

A robber who walked into the Columbia downtown Alcoholics Anonymous center, pulled out a gun and demanded money was killed in a burst of gunfire from an AA visitor’s gun, police said. “Gimme what you got,” witnesses quoted the robber as saying when he entered the AA building at 2015 College St. in Five Points about 10:48 p.m. Saturday. They said he brandished a .25-caliber handgun. At that point, as one AA visitor dropped something on the floor — possibly his wallet — another AA visitor pulled out his own pistol and shot the robber “multiple times,” police said. ~ Charlotte Observer