This is hard to watch…

I have a hard time believing that this video was considered a good idea even in the age of leisure suits and disco. The same could be said about the maladaptive and contradictory behavior of a codependent, a good example being this letter to an advice column.

Every six months or so, he comes to my house drunk and raises Cain in front of the kids… He never says he's sorry and it causes fights that could be avoided if he just wouldn't drink… If I try to make him leave, he does more in front of the kids, and he has been known to hit. How can I make it clear to him I've had enough… I have called the law before and that just makes matters worse.

I know it's easy to criticize, but that's sort of my point.

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It's hard to watch the behavior of a codependent, and it gets even worse when they ask for advice they don't want to hear and don't intend to heed. Been there, done that, in fact I think maybe I had it worse than most while dealing with a loved one suffering from alcoholism because I wouldn't even take my own advice!

Just as most of the general public finds it hard to truly understand the complexity of alcoholism, so do most when it comes to codependency. When on the outside looking in it is so easy to develop logical solutions to what seem as obvious problems. Even as a recovering alcoholic I thought codependency as more of a weakness or excessive charity until I found myself as the family front man for another alcoholic family member. Now I know how hard it can be and just as the advice columnist suggested, Al Anon is a great resource. (Even more painful than the video)