Bill Watterson’s modern classic comic about a boy and his tiger, Calvin and Hobbes, has been a favorite of mine since the early days of my sobriety. I discovered Calvin when I still felt unsettled and self conscious about my plight as an alcoholic. The bookstore coffee shop was a safe refuge where I could get out of the house without getting into temptation and burn the dangerous, free time away.
I’ll bet I read every Calvin book they had on the shelf at least three times, I liked them all. From Scientific Progress Goes “Boink” to Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat; I believe it was here that I learned to laugh again. Not a forced or polite titter, but the soul healing irrepressible laughter that makes you look around to make sure nobody is sizing you up for a straight jacket. However it wasn’t until much later in my recovery that I learned another valuable life-lesson even though it was drawn out for me in those very pages.
“That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” ~Calvin
Now I am sure it is perfectly healthy for a five-year old with a talented stuffed tiger to expect this out of life, but for an addict or an alcoholic it’s just plain dangerous. Why? Well because Calvin would go out and build a transmogrifier and push the limits of his imagination to attain his goals while an addict will instead seek a magic pill and withdraw into his own little fantasy world. I began thinking about this phrase since I read Erin’s post on relapse in which she didn’t so much fall off the wagon as she allowed her thought pattern to slip back into their old routines. I know the feeling, you heard me say it before, it’s thinking like an alcoholic. It’s taking the benadryl because I deserve a “deeper” sleep or leaving a perfectly good job because I am “worth more” even though it means unemployment. Calvin may have been a day dreamer, but just as soon as he could imagine a scenario he would be out in the front yard building it out of snow, getting out the shovel and digging it up, or making it out cardboard boxes.
It’s alright to demand wonderful things from life, but in a healthy recovery you have to be prepared to go out there and make it happen.
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Unless you have been overcome by addictive thinking I guess it would be pretty hard to understand what would compel an addict to act the way they do.
That's why I love your site. I can put everything on the table and although it doesn't excuse my behavior, you always seem to "get it".
People who don't understand addiction either have much to severe a response or just the opposite "you didn't do anything wrong, you were having a bad day, I would have done it to if that happened to me". Both of these reactions could destroy me if I let them.
What is another addicts response? "Pick yourself up, stop thinking like an addict, do not use again". Those are the words I needed to hear.
erinsav
www.whatwinnersdo.com
each other because of this reason, but we can also use the lessons of others to grow our own recovery.
Meetings, blogs, and recovery communities should be more than just "support", they should be places of discovery and learning also.
I too discovered Calvin and Hobbes in early sobriety. My favorite cartoon still hangs on my sponsors fridge--Calvin and his tiger are on a sled, perched high on a snowy hill full of huge rocks and branches with a big tree at the bottom. The little thought bubble is going "oh come on--it will be fun--it will be so cool etc." And Calvin is saying out loud "My brain is trying to kill me!" You just know he's probably going to do it any way. It always seemed like such a perfect metaphor for the whole thought process that goes into relapse, at least for myself.
Interesting, though, that the rest of the world who doesn't have an addiction problem probably would not put this sort of meaning into either of the cartoons we mentioned. It is so important to have places to connect with others who "get" it--I know-- I spend a lot of time in a family full of active drinkers and users trying to explain my sobriety (like I'm the one there is something wrong with), and I've just recently come to the conclusion (obvious, really) that it is an exercise in futility. And its off to a meeting for me, not only for the support but hopefully to learn a little too. Thanks for being here--it is really a great site. Norma
and be rest assured that I appreciate your comments and participation.
In the final installment ever printed Calvin turns to Hobbes as they mount their sled and says,"It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy." The last frame shows their backs as they sled off in to forest with Calvin saying:
"... let's go exploring!"
That is why I built this site.
Thank you for helping me discover new things about myself, my disease, and how it affects others.
and think you will agree why I think the final installment of Calvin and Hobbes is by far the sweetest swan song I have ever witnessed.
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