"It is rare anyone with an addiction can just choose just to quit alcohol or drugs, but hopefully somewhere down the road they will have the "choice" of recovery."
I have taken a side in the great debate, I am Pro-Choice. The controversy of choice has become one of the most divisive and irrationally contentious issues of our time, often turned into a pragmatic, medical, spiritual, or cultural battle of wills with no mutually acceptable resolution in sight. Oh, and by the way, did I mention I am talking about alcohol and drug addiction?
That’s right, this controversial term popped into my mind the other night while speaking to a medical professional that deals directly with addicts. He rather casually said “of course the addict always has the choice of whether or not to take drugs”, as if this was the gospel truth. Normally when I hear someone make a generalization like this I quickly gird my loins and leap into the fray, but for many reasons this was neither the time nor the place for debate. So instead of a spirited exchange I got to stew on my thoughts for a while which for me, is often the least satisfying but most productive course of action. Now, as I collect my well cooked thoughts I find myself jumping on this pro-choice bandwagon.
Read more below the fold…
Let me explain before you go off half cocked, remember that I am an Alcoholic with a capital “A” for addiction. I have been through the ringer but sober since 94, I have been a sponsor, I have planned and led interventions, I hold an open-recovery class every week, and I whole-heartedly support almost every program available that offers hope to those with addictions. This is not my first rodeo. I know how hard it is too finally quit drinking and/or using drugs; it is a nearly impossible feat. So when someone says that quitting is just a choice, much like choosing vanilla or chocolate at the creamery, I also get a little upset.
So let me clarify and I hope that I can rustle up the words to explain what I can feel so clearly in my heart.
In the throes of an addiction, drugs and alcohol become our life. In almost every case, one does not choose just to quit, to put it plainly, there are just no other options. Jail, physical and mental breakdown, health problems or death are the decision makers here, there is no personal choice. This is the part where those who have never suffered an addiction lose us, even professionals in the field don’t have a full understanding. They may call it a disease, they may intellectually know that there is more than just a physical addiction, but rarely will they understand the life snuffing grip an addiction has upon someone. Unless you have been there and got the t-shirt, I sincerely wonder if anyone can truly understand an addiction.
Where I become Pro-Choice is in the aftermath. If one makes it through a jail term, a stay at rehab, or through group support and comes out sober on the other end they then have the choice to continue living as before or to choose recovery. It is at this point when you have a break from the withdrawals, the law is not in hot pursuit, or you have things under control with a methadone maintenance program that you do have options, you have to make a choice.
It is rare anyone with an addiction can just choose just to quit alcohol or drugs, but hopefully somewhere down the road they will have the "choice" of recovery.
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I completely agree with your take on choice dealing with addiction. When someone is still actively addicted and they have not had an epiphany, for lack of a better word, they have no choice what so ever. Addicts are usually blind to the fact that they are addicts at all.
Once something has clicked in that addictive thinking brain of ours and once and for all we realize we are addicts, that is when the choice presents itself.
I know that in recovery, I have a choice to either stay clean or die. Pretty much that is how I look at it. I'm not going to tell you that I don't have cravings and want to use, I do. What I do when those situations present themselves is make a choice. I can repeat the old habit, knowing that I will get nothing concrete from it except a set back in my recovery, or I can ride out the craving. I choose staying clean.
erinsav
www.whatwinnersdo.com
in my group this morning. One of the questions we debated was exactly when you do have the freedom of a real choice. Is it when you've hit a physical and emotional rock bottom? Is it when you find yourself with the opportunity to enter a rehab or program? Jail or forced sobriety?
It was our conclusion at least in this group that when one is so physically addicted to a drug or alcohol that the withdrawals require medical attention, just going cold turkey still might not be a real choice. Only after an intervention of some sort whether legal, accidental, or charitable may some people actually have a "choice".
What's your thoughts on this Erin?
I am a newcomer to the truth of addiction. I was in it, I was married to an addict. I divorced him. It was hard and it was my choice. Before he hit the bottom (one of many, I suppose) I still struggled with the First Step, to admit that I was powerless over addiction. I am, and it shames me to admit this, a very proud person that doesn't take things lying down. I cannot admit it when I am wrong. I had been to several different Al-Anon meetings and I could say it but I never meant it. I think that we (codependents) have to hit bottom too. It isn't something that everyone can understand. It was easy for me to say to my addict, "I don't do it, you shouldn't either" "You either do it or you don't, it is that easy". I didn't know. I found out one day when he kicked in my door and stole from our children for crack (Vicodin to crack, can you explain that path?). That was the day I realized it. Most people cannot. They cannot understand it anymore than addicts can understand one beer or one hit, or one hand of poker or whatever the "high" is. It strikes everyone differently and until the "regular person" is down that low they won't get it.
other alcoholics and addicts, that is when will the people we are close to understand are disease. I mean REALLY UNDERSTAND, of course the right answer for this is hopefully never.
Because most family and loved ones will only understand addiction after they have seen their daddy, wife, son or best friend choose their drug of choice over them. Just like yourself, that is when it really dawns upon a person just how powerful and complex this disease truly is.
I am so sorry you have learned this, but I feel encouraged you are using this knowledge to better your life instead of letting it cause further pain.
Take care,
TDA
I completely agree that if you don't have the means to kick your substance of choice because cold turkey is out of the question...you aren't really faced with a choice yet.
I think the choice comes in when you have rid yourself of the acute physical addiction and are just dealing with the mental side of it.
You went through the withdrawal, you know that you were physically addicted and you are wrestling with your addictive thinking. Do you have that first drink,pill,puff whatever...or don't you? Then the choice is yours.
erinsav
www.whatwinnersdo.com
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