Thank you author and speaker Lisa Frederiksen of Breaking the Cycles for this regular series sharing her decades long experience of dealing with family alcoholism and alcohol abuse. Click here to see the rest of the series.
Time and again readers and those I speak with express their concerns that ‘things’ don’t feel better once the drinking stops. They worry that ‘this is it!’? Often this makes them fearful of their loved one’s recovery or question whether their loved one is really in recovery.
This is when it helps to recall the neural networks in a person’s brain have been impacted by their addiction to alcohol (see the category, ‘Brain Scans,’ to the right or read, “SPECT Scans Showing the Brain Can Change When Substance Abuse is Stopped“). Not only have the neural networks that rely on dopamine (our ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter – the one that allows us to feel pleasure) been compromised, but there are also ‘missing’ neural networks — those not strengthened and embedded because of the addiction (missing networks, such as those related to thoughtful vs reactionary processing of emotions, interacting with people when sober, ‘doing’ life without alcohol). So not only does a loved one have to overcome the embedded networks related to their alcoholism (drinking buddies, time of day, their method for handling stress, sneaking / hiding / defending / consuming alcohol), they have to create new ones for how to have fun and live life without it.
This is where the ‘tools’ of recovery come into play. These can include a formal treatment program (residential or outpatient), individual therapy (with someone who understands addiction), AA, group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, nutrition and exercise modifications/programs (you’d be amazed at the new research that shows the positive impacts of nutrition and exercise on neural networks), meditation — there is a wide, wide range of what works and each individual has different needs – needs that will likely change as recovery progresses.
The amazing, wonderful thing is the brain can change and life truly can get better. It can take a year or even three, but it does get better in between and along the way. The best thing a family member can do is learn as much as they can about addiction / alcoholism and learn what has happened to their own neural networks as a result of loving/living with an alcoholic without understanding the disease.
