I have 15 years of uninterrupted sobriety and yet I still feel out of place sometimes when it comes to going to a new AA meeting. When I think about it though, it’s not the AA meeting itself that is unsettling but instead just the fact that I am sitting down with a complete group of strangers. Even a quilting bee could be unsettling if one feels out of place or as if everyone in the room but you know one another. Add discussing what can be a very personal and uncomfortable topic to the occasion and no wonder that a lot of people look to the web for advice about how to handle AA jitters.
I noticed that this odd-news post, Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting Etiquette Hints, from last year was getting an awful lot of traffic and decided it might be time to post something better than “one should refrain from robbing others at the meeting.” So here are my Top 5 pointers for AA newcomers:
1. Be early. Trust me coming in late is the best way to draw attention to yourself.
2. Don’t be afraid to smile and shake someone’s hand. First name and “glad to be here” is standard fare.
3. Listen more, talk less.
4. No phone, snacks, or games- no distractions.
5. Make it a goal to remember three names, then the next meeting is not full of strangers.
I am a perpetual newcomer to AA meetings since I do not have a regular group. I sometimes attend accompanying someone new to recovery to make them feel more comfortable- but I always get a lot out of the experience. I probably will never be an AA regular, but I can say without reservation that the things I learned in AA during my early sobriety formed the basis of my long term successful recovery. I highly recommend it to anyone with a drinking problem regardless of their circumstances.
If you are thinking about a meeting and feeling nervous, just go. Use the pointers or not, just go… and keep going back.
