I’m going to try to write something each day. I feel that it will help me and it might help someone else.
Today was day 4 of my new sobriety. It was a good day because I didn’t even think about taking a drink. I’ve been controlling my drinking for the past several years, and don’t have the craving every day.
My disease takes over suddenly when I think that I deserve to have a reward and decide to pick up six Tall Boys, which I drink during the evening.
I always feel terrible the next day, sleep until noon, and then am depressed the rest of the day. I get terribly mad at myself, and feel as though I’ve let God down. I’ve promised God so many time that this will be the last time.
As they say in AA, “Let go and let God.”
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when I start to rationalize problems and pretending to myself that there are answers where experience has proven this false. This is why I am so sure when I speak of alcohol as a disease, because no sane person who continue to fall back upon somethig that had such a proven failure rate. No sane person whould “reward” themselves with something that causes nothing but grief, pain, and sickness.
At the time, it is hard to realize that you are thinking like an alcoholic so the best defense is to work a recovery program that keeps you thinking healthy.
insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I might not drink today or tomorrow, but when the insanity hits, there is no telling where I might end up. I’ve been fortunate not to have ever gotten a DUI, or ended up in jail.
I have a great career, and a loving family. But terrible things can and probably will happen if I continue to think it’s OK to buy that six pack every now and then.
I love the name of your blog, “the discovering alcoholic.” That puts a new light on everything. To stay sober is to discover a new life… not stay in the old one, thinking that you can drink like other people and never succeeding.
Thanks!
One day at a time
It sounds like you are doing great and headed down the right path. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you continue doing what you are. Have a safe 4th of July!
I did have a great holiday and am sober 11 days today. Thanks for your support.
with the comments-
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