In the TDA Alphabet Primer, “E” is for egocentrism. Alcoholics are deeply selfish, self-centered individuals that serve only the disease that has become the core of their being. I decided to go with this term instead of waiting for the selfish “S” because an alcoholic requires a clinically insane level of conceit to enable acting out with such utter disregard for the health, welfare, and sanity of all involved in the pursuit of alcohol.
An alcoholic must always maintain a proper level of uniqueness whether it is one of need, righteousness, or entitlement to justify that next drink. How else can an alcoholic drink $8 cocktails while his kids need braces, a mother drink and drive with her kids in the car, or a twenty-something that is medicating a self-diagnosed “chemical imbalance?
This egotistical trait is a self preservation tool of disease, assuring the alcoholic allows feels that his need to drink is the most pressing matter and surely outweighs any other need. I know that when I was still a practicing alcoholic I didn’t really hold down a job, but I felt worthy of a salary. I couldn’t hold my hand or even my voice steady without a moderate BAC, yet would ridicule the “AA saps”.
A braggart, liar, and righteous thief- my egocentrism manifested itself in many ways but was most harmful in the sense that I was absolutely sure my addiction was a unique case. I was convinced that I was afflicted by an extreme condition, beyond the help of treatment professionals or even their comprehension and therefore richly deserving of pity, support, and the succor of another drink.
