You will remember screedler from his Letters From Hell series that was a weekly favorite. He is now keeping us up to date as he continues his struggle through court ordered insanity and his own successful recovery.
As I was walking (my driving license has been revoked) from my place of employment to my random drug test; I thought about how much easier it would be to stay sober if it weren’t for the “powers that be”. Be it court ordered, probation officer ordered, court referral officer ordered, group therapy ordered or social ordered I have become less than human. I have lost all my freedoms except for what I eat and the right to smoke. Even though I am not incarcerated (anymore) I still have to pee with someone staring at my unit and be somewhere I don’t want to be most any hour of the day.
The court winds me up and sends me on my way each day to my numerous appointments. Let’s see; what will it be this hour – a drug test. No not yet – an AA meeting. Definitely later. Right now – beg someone to take me (drive) to my probation officer. Maybe I can swing by and see my court referral officer too. Well, if I can’t work any of those things in I can always attend some of my 6 hours a week of “alcohol and drug awareness classes” – that’s always fun. And you might ask? Screedler; how can I have such a vibrant schedule – well let me tell you – it aint free.
Here’s how it breaks down:
Drug tests: $20 a pop – sometimes twice a week
Classes: $40 a pop – twice a week
Probation officer: $30 a visit at least once a month
Court Referral Officer: $20 once a month
AA three times a week: free; but I do drop my share in the bucket.
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So it’s probably just for a short time right. Wrong. 36 weeks of the classes. Twice a week for 18 weeks and once a week for 18 more weeks. That’s 54 classes times $40; a total of $2160. On top of that, 2 years of visiting a parole officer and random drug tests. For me – it has been more expensive being sober than being a drunk. On top of all that I have paid over $5000 in fines in the last year. Oh – and how did I get off so lightly – by paying an attorney about 10 grand and spending 76 days in a correctional facility.
But I am crying over spilt milk. The damage is done. You reap what you sow – right. I guess it beats being in jail. I’ve been there before and yes it’s bad but it’s free. And it actually stopped me from drinking. All this extracurricular activity is so stressful and costly that it would drive Mother Teresa to drink.
Just let this be a warning to anyone who has the slightest desire to stop drinking. Do it before they make you do it. Because there is no doubt it would be easier without all this crap hanging over my/your head.
Screedler
I would like to thank TDA for allowing me to rant on his site. It probably won’t help anyone but me. And there – it has.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Screedler,
Man, I was wondering what hapened to you?
I was enjoying well not really enjoying but I got so much out of your hell series. I thought you might have violated and weren’t able to write. Looks like the first time did the trick for you. Took me about 25 times with each stay getting longer and longer. (a day to 20 months).
They sure are making you jump through a lot of hoops in order to complete probation. Too much if you ask me.
Yeah, about the guy who watches you pee. Mine was standing a foot away with his eyes fixated on my junk. I tried to talk to him to avert his gaze but he wasn’t having it. Very unsettling.
Keep going
Frankiecon