Comments on: Looking Forward to a Tragedy http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy The Discovering Alcoholic is a top rated recovery blog covering alcoholism, substance abuse, treatment and recovery issues. Sun, 20 May 2012 23:01:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Cold Porridge http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy#comment-46 Cold Porridge Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://discoveringalcoholic.com/?p=66#comment-46 You hit the nail on the head with this one brother. Especially the part about the depression and guilt that always follows in aftermath. This guilt and depression become just another reason to continue the binge. You hit the nail on the head with this one brother. Especially the part about the depression and guilt that always follows in aftermath. This guilt and depression become just another reason to continue the binge.

]]> By: erinsav http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy#comment-47 erinsav Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://discoveringalcoholic.com/?p=66#comment-47 This topic really hits home for me. I only recently started admitting to myself that most of the problematic situations that I went through such as health issues were self inflicted or imagined problems. It all served one purpose and that was to make my drug use and depression appear warranted. I have still not gotten the courage up to truly admit the specifics to anyone, probably won't happen for a while. This is one thing I can definitely say I still feel shame about. erinsav www.whatwinnersdo.com This topic really hits home for me. I only recently started admitting to myself that most of the problematic situations that I went through such as health issues were self inflicted or imagined problems. It all served one purpose and that was to make my drug use and depression appear warranted.

I have still not gotten the courage up to truly admit the specifics to anyone, probably won’t happen for a while.
This is one thing I can definitely say I still feel shame about.

erinsav
http://www.whatwinnersdo.com

]]> By: Screedler http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy#comment-48 Screedler Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://discoveringalcoholic.com/?p=66#comment-48 Right on brother. I used to wake up every morning hoping that some horrific event had occured; such as nuclear war having started or that a world ending asteroid was just about to strike. Then everyone would know the helplessness and fear I felt on a day to day basis. Finally I would live in a world of equals in misery and I bet they would want to drink and drug themselves into oblivion just like me. They would see the utter futility of life like I did. They would know why I did what I did. No one would blame me or think me weak for wanting to dull my senses. This is something I do not like to admit but it is very true and horrible. And for the most part now that I am clear of mind I no longer have those feelings. It's scary to think that I wished that upon my family, friends, children and everyone in general. During the throes of addiction I can say that I had very few "happy" thoughts about others. On the outside I would be happy for you and your new family, house, job or whatever; but on the inside I would be thinking - well you won't be so happy when you find out you have cancer or are mangled in a horrible accident. You will be just like me after you start drinking because your beautiful wife and family left you. Ha! It's been a long time since I have had good thoughts about people. I have found them again in sobriety. It was a real revelation to me when my niece and I were playing around one day and she gave me a dandelion and said I should make a wish and blow on it. I did and to my astonishment without thinking I had wished a good future for her. Now thats what I call progress. Keep up the good work DA. Right on brother. I used to wake up every morning hoping that some horrific event had occured; such as nuclear war having started or that a world ending asteroid was just about to strike. Then everyone would know the helplessness and fear I felt on a day to day basis. Finally I would live in a world of equals in misery and I bet they would want to drink and drug themselves into oblivion just like me. They would see the utter futility of life like I did. They would know why I did what I did. No one would blame me or think me weak for wanting to dull my senses.

This is something I do not like to admit but it is very true and horrible. And for the most part now that I am clear of mind I no longer have those feelings. It’s scary to think that I wished that upon my family, friends, children and everyone in general.

During the throes of addiction I can say that I had very few “happy” thoughts about others. On the outside I would be happy for you and your new family, house, job or whatever; but on the inside I would be thinking – well you won’t be so happy when you find out you have cancer or are mangled in a horrible accident. You will be just like me after you start drinking because your beautiful wife and family left you. Ha!

It’s been a long time since I have had good thoughts about people. I have found them again in sobriety. It was a real revelation to me when my niece and I were playing around one day and she gave me a dandelion and said I should make a wish and blow on it. I did and to my astonishment without thinking I had wished a good future for her. Now thats what I call progress.

Keep up the good work DA.

]]> By: The Discovering Alcoholic http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy#comment-49 The Discovering Alcoholic Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://discoveringalcoholic.com/?p=66#comment-49 but thanks for the YouTube. but thanks for the YouTube.

]]> By: fragile http://discoveringalcoholic.com/alcoholism/looking-forward-to-a-tragedy#comment-65 fragile Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://discoveringalcoholic.com/?p=66#comment-65 but can only hope for the same progress to follow. but can only hope for the same progress to follow.

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