My friend Erin over at What Winners Do latest post got me to thinking about how things could have been sans alcoholism. Would I have studied law, pursued a military career, or become some corporate bigwig because I kept my nose to the grindstone instead of slipping into alcohol dependency? I do regret the many opportunities I threw away as a young man, but I do not dwell on these things. Instead I use them as a lesson never to leave the door closed when opportunity knocks.
When I first started the site I put a good deal of thought into The Discovering Alcoholic logo. It represents not only the road to recovery leading to a bright, sunny future, but also the eye of the beholder of this future regardless of their starting point. What would I have been? Who cares, the real question for me now is what I can become. I cannot say I am happy to have suffered from the disease of alcoholism, but I can say without any hesitation that in my recovery I have found a contentment I know that many will never find without traveling this road.
In my recovery, I learned to be introspective and to take care of myself. It wasn’t until I had a firm hold on my life and my own desires that I found that I could truly care for other people. Not in the “what have you done for me lately” sense of my old alcoholic thinking, but instead in an unselfish manner where I can put the well being of others as a priority. In this same progression I found spirituality. Not in prayer or religion, but in the beautiful feeling I get when helping someone in an altruistic manner wanting neither feedback or reciprocity. My recovery program has made me a better husband, family man, and professional, but more than anything it has given me a quality of life that I am not quite sure I would have ever found without the suffering I incurred from my alcoholism.
No, I cannot say I am happy to an alcoholic, but I can say wholeheartedly that my recovery has made me yearn to squeeze every bit of joy I can out of the remainder of my life.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
My post made you think of something and now this post of yours has done the same for me…thank you
What Have We Become
erinsav
http://www.whatwinnersdo.com
I had the same experience of being more comfortable with “nerdy” and “corny” in my recovery, and was suprised to see that most of the time “cool” was just irresponsible. (and the pay sucked!)