Boring Wallflower vs Obnoxious Drunk

Conventional knowledge has imbued alcohol with magical properties that turn wallflowers into expressionistas and shy lonely hearts into irresistible paramours. Female columnist Hillary Freeman is no different, claiming it was sobriety that made her boring in this DailyMail article.

At social occasions, many guests avoided me, regarding anyone who was still sober enough to have a rational conversation at 11pm with deep suspicion. I was an oddball, a killjoy. And worse, I’d remember everything the next day.

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Yea, I’m savvy enough to know this is sort of tongue-in-cheek- but it’s still more or less an accepted premise proven by the millions who wouldn’t consider a social situation without a stiff drink. The truth of the matter is that alcohol rarely makes anyone “better”- it just clouds their self perception and unfortunately also their judgment. Making matter worse, just as alcoholics and addicts never develop coping skills, even moderate drinkers can fail to learn basic social skills because of the constant reliance upon their “lubricant” alcohol.

Unlike makeup, alcohol rarely just hides flaws and enhances one’s beauty- instead it often amplifies behavior and reinforces negative traits. So if you are boring sober, my advice is to bone up on some relative knowledge so that you can be engaging- don’t drink yourself silly. I’ll take a wallflower any day over an obnoxious drunk!