The Discovering Palcoholic

by Screedler on May 25, 2015

 

Powdered Alcohol has been approved for human consumption by the government and is expected to go on sale this summer.  Many states have already sought to ban its sale due to safety concerns of misuse by underage drinkers as addressed in the above video.

Palcohol, the leading manufacturer of the new way to get inebriated lists some inaccurate representations of their product:

1. People will snort it. I doubt it. People snort liquid alcohol and get drunk quickly which is why they do it. However, you can’t get drunk from snorting powdered alcohol because there’s too much powder and it’s very painful to snort. It’s cheaper, faster and less painful to get drunk on liquid alcohol

2. Powdered alcohol will make it easier to sneak into venues. Not true. A shot of liquid alcohol is 1/4 the volume of a shot of powdered alcohol so it’s much easier to sneak liquid alcohol into venues.

3. It will be easier to spike a drink. Not true. Liquid alcohol dissolves 30 times faster in a drink.

4. It’s super-concentrated. No it’s not. It has the same alcohol by volume as a standard mixed drink.

5. Kids will get a hold of it easier. How? It will be sold in liquor stores just like liquid alcohol.

6. It’s appealing to underage drinkers. Just the opposite. Palcohol costs four times more than liquid alcohol and one can’t drink it straight like liquid alcohol. Kids will always choose liquid alcohol.

7. Palcohol can be sprinkled on food to get someone drunk. Well, it can be sprinkled on food but it would be noticeable…..and it wouldn’t make anyone drunk. It’s unlikely that a person could consume enough food/powder to even equal one drink.

I believe this product is doomed, as it is just too much trouble for adults, the few clever teenagers who get hold of it and fill a container of baby powder or detergent with it will not make it profitable enough.  The makers themselves state above that it is more expensive, more bulky, and an ineffective way to get drunk.

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Three Sheets

by Screedler on May 20, 2015

This artist uses paper craft to bring the phrase “Three sheets to the wind” to life (and death).

DMA230_PaperCraft_Three Sheets from L.S. Quigley on Vimeo.

According to the Wiktionary:

Derived from sailing ships. The ‘sheet’ in the phrase uses the nautical meaning of a rope that controls the trim of sail. If a sheet is loose, the sail flaps and doesn’t provide control for the ship. Having several sheets loose (“to the wind”) could cause the ship to rock about drunkenly. Before settling on the standard usage of “three sheets”, a scale used to be employed to rate the drunkenness of a person, with “one sheet” meaning slightly inebriated, and “four sheets” meaning unconscious. A better description relates this phrase to a square rigged ship sailing on the wind, on a bowline as they say. With the three windward sheets hauled all the way forward, in or to the wind, the ship will stagger like a drunken sailor as she meets the waves at an angle of 60 degrees to the beam. For loose sheets to have this effect there would have to be six loose sheets, three to windward and three to leeward. Also, unless all the upper sails secured to the yards were also loosed having the course sheets loose would not produce any change in a ship’s motion except to reduce its forward speed a bit.

I like this version better. According to a 1994 New York Times “Letter to the editor”

The true origin of “three sheets to the wind” was disclosed to me by a Nantucket sailor. Four sheets to the wind are O.K. because they are balanced. So are two sheets now and then. But three? Never.

The old Dutch-style windmill on Nantucket Island in Massachusetts, which is still grinding cornmeal for the tourists, has four wooden vanes to which are attached four sails — or more properly, sheets. If the miller leaves one off, only three are presented to the wind.

The mechanism is then severely out of balance, and in a fresh breeze the entire structure of the mill goes into a violent and potentially destructive shudder, evoking the image of a staggering drunk.

Letting go a sailboat’s sheet to flap in the wind usually gets the skipper out of trouble by causing the boat to come up into the wind on an even keel — the opposite of the metaphor intended. ROBERT A. DI CURCIO Nantucket, Mass., Dec. 12, 1994

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How Will Don Draper’s Ride End?

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by Screedler on May 17, 2015

Mad Men comes to an end in just a couple of hours later tonight.  Every one is wondering what Don Draper’s fate will be and I am throwing out my prediction, before we really find out.

One thing that has really bothered me about the shows portrayal of Don’s drinking problem is his apparent transformation from out of control alcoholic to normal social drinker in the span of about two episodes, with only a couple of wise words from former drinker Freddy Rumsen as evidence of him “getting help”.

At first I was impressed by the show’s portrayal of a man struggling with alcoholism.  Hallucinogenic DT’s, hands shaking at work, throwing up at funerals, fights, failed marriages, and lost jobs.  The familiar carnage has all been on display.    The scene that resonated with me most was Don hiding from work in a dark room, slumped in a recliner watching TV, eating Ritz crackers, and sipping Bourbon for breakfast.  But somehow, with divine intervention I suppose, he became someone who could handle his alcohol again.  The show really did not address this miracle of moderation.

So here is how I think it all ends.  Don finds out that ex-wife Betty is dying of lung cancer, probably from his daughter.  He nobly abandons his spur of the moment road trip to find the woman of his dreams and starts back home.  Along the way we get flashbacks of all the good things in his life, he realizes just how lucky his life has been, and we get the feeling he is going to be a changed man.

Boom, out of nowhere he is  T-boned by an old truck.  It is apparent by the violence of the crash that there will be no survivors.  Fast forward a couple of years… Betty is alive; through the tragedy of Don’s death she found the will to endure the chemo and radiation that would save her life and allow her to grow old with the kids.

It will be revealed that Don was sober at the time of the accident, but that the other driver was of course drunk.  You see, in the end, alcohol still kills Don Draper.

Three more hours and we will all find out.

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